Holidaze and up 2.2

It's been a busy, fun 2 weeks and the scales show it! :D :D
I'm up 2.2 and will probably be up again this week. I'm ok with that. I've been fairly lazy and also enjoying much too much of the wonderful homemade treats that were offered up during our travels.
The holidays that really put the focus around food, at least for me, are over and now it's back on plan. Nope, I didn't track much of anything, but did try to stay mindful of choices, even when they weren't the right ones. :D
I didn't see a single box of See's candies, but there were plenty of other delectable delights to be devoured! Including my first ever homemade fudge. It was delicious and perfect if I do say so myself.
All the cookies I baked went stale and bad before gift giving time, so I was really glad to have made the fudge when I did so I had something nice to give as a gift.
I'm sick today, and so begins the New Year. We HAD planned to go downtown and see how it happens there, but I think the better focus now is for me to get well. I need to get back to work, there is MUCH to be done there.
Happy New Year Everyone! I have 7 months to lose 60 lbs. Wish me luck!

3.2 pounds and baking cookies

So, this week the scales showed me at 206.4!! I'm just rockin and rollin and enjoying the trip.

I've got all of my clothes that were in storage in the house and slowly but surely, I'm getting my butt back into all of them. I'm so glad I lean toward more classic styles...and for the things I got back then that were a bit "trendy", I'm glad that we are in a fashion time when just about anything goes! Some of the clothes I had hanging in storage were clothes I was almost into last time I got serious about losing the weight...but I never quite got there. This time I will and I think I'll go beyond it too.

OH! I picked up a 10 lb bag of sugar to bring to my co-worker today - I don't need it and I didn't use it when I baked all those cookies. I was amazed at how heavy that was...and I've dropped almost 9 of those off my body...no WONDER I was feeling so bad. Holy moly.

I'm so much more aware of my body this time around. Thanks to the plan I'm on, I continue to learn more about caring for myself and putting my health before everything else. :D

I am enjoying preparing for the holidays. I made a bunch of cookies last weekend, then made some fudge this weekend and that turned out GREAT. I still need to bake the gingerbread cookies...that has to happen this week. Just need the space and time to do it. HEEHEE! Easier said than done in my little house. I'll figure it out.

Not sure the rest of the month will show much weight loss. I'm not doing much in the way of exercise beyond parking WAY out in the parking lot so I have to walk farther and doing the stretches the physical therapy guy gave me to do. Which reminds me that I have an appointment there today and I'm wearing a dress! oops! Will have to remedy that.

I'm late posting this, as usual...I weigh in again in 2 days...the scale says nice things at home, but their scale is the one that matters as far as the numbers are concerned.

OH! Jef joined me on this trek. It was my gift to him for Newtonmas and I'm looking forward to his second weigh in on Wednesday night. He's moving scary fast but I think this first week is normal to drop a bunch as your body goes a little wiggy trying to figure out what the hell you are doing to it. I'm just glad he'll be on the health track with me. We'll be healthy and fit before we are fifty and that's good enough for me!

Have a great week and remember to pass some cheer!

5 pounds!!!

*Applause* an even 5 pounds. I'm in a "new decade" as they like to say on the forums I haunt. 209.6 but for some strange reason, when I check, I didn't lose any calories I'm allowed to eat. When, up til, now it's been it's been lose 50 for every ten pounds off...odd. Well I won't complain about not losing a food allowance. :D But I will check again next week if I'm back on the loss wagon.

Got a 5 pound star as I'd been tetering a little over 1 pound away from 80 lbs...and now I'm only 1.4 lbs away from another 5 lb star. :D

I think it's easy to get in a rut with diet, and by diet I mean the foods we eat in general. Our body wants to set us at a weight and keep us there,...so SHAKE IT UP once in a while. I had a day last week where I ate almost double the calories I'm allowed. I didn't stuff myself, just ate some HIGH calorie foods. (they were worth it.) I tracked everything and here I am 5 lbs lighter.
I think there is something to shaking up the metabolism, but I am no scientist and my man says I find correlation too easily. I say :p he he he.

very soon I'll be under 200 lbs...woohoo! Notice the new 10% tracker. When I reach the end of that one, I'll be at 188.6 or less, which will put me at my FAT weight from highschool. Life is funny isn't it? Reaching a weight that once had me feeling like a huge COW will now feel so GOOD!!

What I'm grateful for:
My Job: No job is perfect, but I'm given the opportunity to grow, learn and even make some BIG mistakes and learn from them too. My bosses aren't perfect, but they are human and I appreciate the opportunities they give me.
Jef's Family: as the Christmas holiday approaches, I look forward to heading upstate to see them. Sunny faces, I look forward to seeing each one.
My Doggie: Ally is the best girl dog anyone on the planet has EVER had.
My family: The ties are loose now, but I value each sibling for what I've learned from them, and what is yet to be learned. I value the strengths each one has and for their weaknesses. Mostly, we're good people just trying to make the most of our lives.
I'm grateful for all the money I'm saving by being on this eating plan. (that is the way I'll eat for the rest of my life.) I no longer worry if I'll make it to the next paycheck...I've got plenty of money left over by the time the next check comes. Which is a HUGE wakeup call from old habits. Lunches cost about 12 to 15 dollars work week, and it used to be more like 80 to 100. That's HUGE. 95 a week multiplied by 33 weeks....that adds up. :D

That's all for me...have a wonderful week!

Gratitude

Not feeling very grateful today at all, so I thought I should write a few things that I AM grateful for today.
1) Jef. I am so grateful to get to share life with him.
2) being 78 pounds lighter this year so far!
3) new clothes. (not too many, but a few really pretty pieces that I love)
4) seeing my son Sam almost daily, even if he is grumpy most days.
5) I'm extremely grateful for the trip to the hospice light up a life celebration I went to last Saturday night. I purchased a star in honor of both of my parents and hung them on the tree near each other. At first I wasn't going to, but my mother really did always love my father, so I thought it fitting that she should hang above him and he should be nearby.
We stayed for the whole event and it was really a good thing to do. I feel so much less sad about the whole holiday season. I got a reality check there too...seeing very young children and hearing them share that they were there to remember their mommy or their daddy...well, my pity party was over pretty quick as my heart went out to them. At least I had my parents as I was growing up.

So the hospice light up a life event will be a regular for me, as long as we live here. It's a time I can honor the memory of my parents, share the time of honoring the memory of loved ones passed and begin the season in a positive way. It really made all the difference I think.

I weigh in tomorrow, so I'll write about it then. Wish me luck!

Heh, to be continued...sure...two weeks later! :D

Well, it's been a few weeks since I've blogged...busy and yet not. Just preoccupied I guess.

Weight is rather stuck, it could be I've finally hit a plateau, though I've never hit one in all of my dieting life...so I think not. I was at 213.8 the last two weeks and tonight I'm up .8 to tip the scale at 214.6 which, after Thanksgiving and a visit to my sister's in Vegas, I'm doing OK.

I am entering that time of the year that has been hard and depressing for the last 18 years. *sigh*

The holidays are all about spending time with family and loved ones and I do spend time with loved ones...but my family fell apart 18 years ago when my mother passed away. I've never really been able to grab the holiday mood since.
I remember when I didn't really realize why I was feeling funky, then I looked at the calendar and saw it was December 19th and it all came back to me. I had a good cry and was able to make sure my kids had a happy Christmas so it wasn't horrible.

This year, I see it coming...compounded by how cold it's getting and how it gets so dark so early...I just want to crawl into my bed and drink chai with rum until I pass out.

But tonight, at the meeting, I made a plan. A "Winning Outcome" to work toward thru this holiday season. Well, it's a few things really, they are:
**Maintain my current weightloss thru the holidays (if I can lose some great! if not, I will NOT Gain)
**Log EVERYTHING I eat, BEFORE I put it in my face, regardless. If I eat more calories than I should, at least I'll be conscious of it.
**Park Far Away from my destinations
**As my son said this weekend: "Count happy stuff." In other words, find things to be grateful for.
**Surf the forums for some support during this depressing time.

I also hit the store today and bought some 100 calorie packs of sweet treats to reach for when the other Holiday fare hits the office. I'll have something yummy to eat instead of the rich foods and chocolates...but I'll still enjoy some of that stuff sometimes. It IS the holidays and those things only happen this time of year. Besides, trying to avoid it ALL is only going to lead to my feeling deprived...and that's a formula for falling off the wagon big time.

Someone else came up with a great idea that I'll use these next few weeks. I'll allow myself the treats on Friday. (or some day of the week...I think Friday or Thursday is good.) Then it will be ME CHOOSING to wait, not saying no, absolutely not.

I'm just going to do my best to appreciate the joy of the season...even if I look for it on the faces of other people...I'll enjoy spending Christmas with Jef's family, they are a wonderful bunch of people and some of the healthiest folks I've ever met...not without their quirks, but everyone is open and comfortable just being who they are. There isn't the uncontrollable laughter that happened when my family would gather, but I'll trade in some laughter for being around them.

I miss my mom. I miss her love, her guidance and being able to pick up the phone and call her to share news or just tell her I love her.

I miss my family. Until I'm around them and I become the crazed little girl who is driven to be accepted, liked and approved of by them all. It's crazy, they don't accept themselves so they'll never be able to accept me. I get that. I really do. I understand where it comes from and I don't blame anyone. I love them all in all their ways and quirks and accept them for who they are. I just can't seem to find a way to stop my own insanity when I'm around them. There's work to do there, and maybe I'll blog more in the future and work that out. For now, I miss them, I wish them all the Happiest of Holidays, a wonderful 2008 filled with good times and good health.

So, this could be the trend for the next few weeks...but I think I'll use this blog to track the things I am grateful for and see if that helps.

Have a Happy!

November 7, 2.2 lost, now at 214.2

I'm just happy the weight is still coming off, and it still feels pretty effortless...to be continued

Halloween weigh in shows a loss of 3.2

Got my 75 pound magnet to add to my 50 and 25 magnets. No it doesn't weigh 75 pounds! HAHA! It's just a silly "I did it!" magnet and it's now stuck to the front of my filing cabinet at work, with the other two.

Was a fun week, but I forgot to blog, so I don't really remember. I will say that I ended the Halloween evening with out eating any candy. :D

Scale was at 216.4 tonight. YAY!

Up .6 no big deal

So this week I weighed in at 219.6 a gain of .6 lbs. No big deal. The ash and smoke from fires continues to limit my ability to get out and walk...but I've found a belly dance class I can take right after weigh in, starts Wednesday night November 7. I'm looking forward to that. Always wanted to learn Belly Dancin'. :D

That's it for this week, nothing much else to say. Pray for rain in Southern California please.

2.2 this week and it's BLOG ACTION DAY!

I've reached the next "decade" as we like to call it at the meetings. :D
I tipped the scale at 219 today. 219 from 293. I feel pretty dingity dangity good. :)

This means I lose another 50 calories of edible food but that's OK. I'm enjoying some dark chocolate and port wine as I write this.

I am sooo on track for reaching my goal weight by my 47th birthday I'm STOKED.

Gotta get some physical therapy going. My left leg is in pretty bad shape, and I think it's all because I never got phys ther after the last knee surgery. Bad idea. So I'll do what I need to do, because it's not just about weight loss. This trek is really about HEALTH and life extension.

I want to LIVE a LONG and HEALTHY life and I am on my way, I'm sure of it now. :D

Thanks to all my friends and family for their support, their phone calls and their love. I couldn't get through some of the days without knowing you were there.

Now I'd like to do my part to blog about being environmentally conscious. :D

I was thinking earlier today...it's the 18th anniversary of the big quake that collapsed the freeway and the bay bridge in 1989...remembering the day, how the bay area became gridlocked with everyone trying to drive home to get to their families. It became very apparent to me then that there needs to be a PLAN in place to unite everyone as soon as possible, but we've got to get some reliable and fast public transportation really working in this state. It took us over an hour to do what was normally about a 7 min drive. Crazy.

Here in Santa Barbara, the city is BIG on being environmentally friendly. TON's of bike paths, many electric buses running around town and the bus system can get you within about 15 mins of almost any destination, and many of the buses also have a rack on the front that can take 2 bikes.

Still, there are a lot of folks commuting up here from Ventura, again GRIDLOCK most days and there is no reason NOT to have a commuter train. They're working on it, but we've got to band together and make stuff like this happen faster.

I believe, when I was younger, before "earth day" was a big deal and they were just trying to encourage conservation, the promo was "Save the Earth." I think that's wrong. I think it's more like, "Let's work together to make sure Earth remains a place we can Live!" Because the truth is: Earth will go on. Our days here could be numbered.
For my part, I've planned a few date nights/days where Jef and I take the bus to our destination and a few times we've cycled around. I do drive to work everyday, but my commute is less than 10 mins and that's not bad. I do want to get a newer, more efficient and enviro-friendly car. I'm hoping to make that happen next year.

What are you going to do to preserve this planet for the generations to come?
I'd love to hear from you.

2.2 pounds and moving right along.

Tipped the scales at 221.2 pounds...the lightest I've been in 6 years....maybe 7. I feel GREAT and I'm soooo motivated to continue.
My sister called me to congratulate me on my success, KUDOS to you too sis! She's been doing the same plan I'm on for a few weeks now and is down over 20 pounds!!! (unruly applause with wild arm waving goes here.)

We talked about what we were eating, doing, not doing and shared some ideas. It was great and it got me to thinking that maybe I should share some of those things here. Maybe it's time to name the plan I'm on, why I think it's working and what exactly I am doing to make it work for me. What's I've tried that doesn't work and what I've tried that does. Let me know what you think if you read this...I'd love to hear your ideas.

During our conversation, my sister brought up something that I've been aware of, but still feel helpless to control. It seems that I'm still playing the "mental" game with the scale...if I don't have a loss of what I've predetermined as "substantial" for a week, I get a little down about it. And when I lose what I expect or more, I get all happy and stuff...ok, that's pretty normal.

I don't really get down but for a day or so. All I have to do is log in to my diet account and view my progress chart to see that I am on track and the line is dropping continuously from left to right. I also keep in mind that I only need to lose about 10 pounds a month to remain on track for my ultimate goal.

But that day or so is pretty brutal. Last week, in our meeting, we discussed positive outcomes...the week before was Positive Self Talk. And I never can come up with something new to put on them, because I feel pretty clear about what I have in mind and where I want to end up. This sisterly conversation reminded me that I do have something to work on still...My weight will fluctuate for the rest of my life, (hopefully only a couple of pounds or so at a time once I reach my goal), and I need to find positive outcomes and self talk to replace the way I beat myself up for those 2 days. I'm doing GREAT! I really do know that...

So I need to work on that...and think about some things I can tell myself INSTEAD of the negative things I say when the scale isn't showing what I want to see. I'm open to your comments and ideas, and I'll work on a few of my own.

That said, I was also reminded about how fragile this life is and how my problems are small in comparison to what's happening to others in this world.

A young man was murdered in my niece's apartment weekend before last. He was my niece's boyfriend's best friend. Christan was, thankfully, away from home...but another family is burying their 20 year old son due to a senseless act of violence. The boyfriend was beaten very badly but he'll be physically ok in time and hopefully emotionally and mentally ok not long after. I'm grateful that those close to my family survived this terrible ordeal, and saddened by the way humanity continues to treat each other.

Life goes on, and I intend to do what I can to put more love, caring and kindness in the world. I'm going to build me an ARK! (Acts of Random Kindness in case you haven't seen Evan Almighty...a stupid movie with a nice point.)
Have a great week, I'll do the same!

Oct 3, 2007 Down 5.2 pounds!

So there! And pictures too! Finally.

Good week, ate a whole Domino's pizza in frustration of gain last week. It was AWFUL. To think I liked that pizza...well, it wasn't well made either, but ewwww it was not so good. I just ate it in protest. lol

So I tipped the scale at 223.4 last night. That's .2 short of a 70lb loss, but I think I'm there, I was wearing something other than my 6.6 oz dress to weigh in. Thought about running home to get it, but decided no big deal. Then found it WAS a big deal cuz I could have gotten my next 5# star!!! heh, yes, I like those little rewards.

Anyway, I did start moving more again, and I'm still having sciatic pain, but short easy walks 3 times a day, stretching and ibuprofen are helping it improve. Got a tip from the handyman at work yesterday...might want to look into ROLFING to help.

Here are the latest pictures....

Sept 26, 2007 Up 1.2 lbs

Ick. Oh well, better luck next week. I think it's the hotdogs and macaroni and cheese I had for dinner the night before...sodium = water retention. Better luck next week. Sciatica still present, but getting better. STRETCHING helps.

.8 and that's a loss I'll keep

Sciatic pain is keeping from moving at the level I want to. Weight loss slowing down, going to the doctor to discuss physical therapy. Mood is down, but spirits are high...

Not much to say, just 65.8 off the bod now. Yay. Tipping the scales at 227.4

It's THAT week...so maybe it will be a loss this week...although the lack of movement is not helping AT ALL.

WELL, I just had a nice visit with my chirocracker..and HE says I need to move...but gently...to help my leg get over the pain it's in. I need to stretch, strengthen and adjust. I'm relieved, I thought I couldn't move, now I'm told I should, but gently...that's better than laying around hoping the pain will stop. Yay.

2.8lbs off this week

Yay, I'm in a new decade. the 220's (228.2 to exact)...been a LONG LONG LONG time since I've see this number! It's happy dance time, get up and wiggle with me! bah bah badoomp, bah bah badoomp!

Ok, nuff dancin'

Just a normal week. What have I learned this week...If I eat lunch at noon, by the time I head home for dinner I'm starvin' marvin and it's real easy to tempt myself with junk food. I am good, so far, at resisting the temptation...but I think I'll have a snack before I leave work if I have errands to run after work...that's just a good plan.
I learned that I don't have to try to get more than 50 mins of moderate exercise a day or 30 mins of high intensity and that I can break them up into shorter spurts that add up to that number. I can DO that. I've been lazy...mostly because the smoke has been bad, but the smoke is about gone now, and so it's time to move again and breathe harder. I'm thinking I gotta get out there and make up time!!! But a quick look at my weightloss chart and I see I'm averaging a loss of over 2 lbs a week. I'm ok, I don't need to catch up to anything. I'm on track. I just need to start getting that 50 or 30 mins a day.

I'll start with 50 and work up to 30...or maybe I can do 40 and 10? lol I'll work on the 50 for now...high intensity will kill me after all these weeks of non-aerobic movement.

When I started this journey, I wasn't sure I'd make it. Now I'm starting to believe I will. I know I'll continue to use the plan I'm on for the rest of my life...I know I have to. I've got an addictive personality, and since I've removed all the other harmful addictions from my life, I'm left with Food. One must EAT to live, so I can't remove that one...I need to work with it.

Of course I could become addicted to creativity and I'm leaning that way...photoshop is calling my name and there's the possibility of earning a little extra cash in another realm. :D
I'm going to spend some time this weekend reading up on it and learning a bit of how to use a wacom tablet.

And I'm going to get out and move for at least 50 mins a day this week! I CAN DO THAT!

1 pound 8/29 and .8 pound 9/5/07

We were getting ready to head out of town so I didn't post last week.
Went to the mountains to visit Jef's family, had such a wonderful time, but I always do when we go up there. They are just a wonderful bunch of people to spend time with.
So, I tipped the scale at 231 lbs even Wednesday night. Not bad. I've not done much for exercise, and I wanted to do something while we up in the mountains, but the heat and a sprained ankle (Jef's, not mine) kept us from doing much in the way of exertion.
I suppose I could have shoveled horse poop, but I'd rather swim or walk or do something fun. :D
(Sorry mom, sorry Kari and Kelsey...but THANK YOU for doing that!)

Work is pretty crazy, 3 new pcs, and all the problems that go with that; programs to be installed, issues to be resolved. Fun, fun, fun.

Feeling a little discouraged and bored with the diet, but I did have some cheesecake and didn't track perfectly every day, though I did get it all after the fact and learned that I dipped into my weekly calories, though not too badly. More than I ever have before, but still not all of them.
So a loss of .8 after a vacation involving a long car ride, over 800 miles round trip...probably close to 900 miles. And eating wonderful dinners...including desert. Not bad that I could indulge a little and still come home a little lighter.

I'll take any win, even .8!
Since I didn't post pics for August, I'll just wait for September 19 to roll around and take them then. It's only two weeks away...though I've only lost 1.8 pounds in the last two weeks...maybe I'll take pics tomorrow and post them for August. Otherwise the little movie at the end will have a 20 lb jump. Eh, no big deal. I'll just wait til Sept.

Have a fantastic week!

Fun stuff, just for fun

This is my son. His friends are very creative and talented. I love this. :D

3.6 this week, total lost: 60.4 lbs

60 lbs in 6 months. I'm rockin and rollin! I'll edit this post later...but I tip the scales at only 232.8 now. WHOO HOO!!!!

1.4 this week

Surprised the heck outta me! So, after 26 weeks, I've lost 56.8 lbs. Just 3.2 lbs shy of my goal of 60 lbs. Not bad, not bad. Only 91.4 lbs to go. Can I do it in the 46 weeks? (that's how many left to get to the Wednesday after my 47th birthday).
That's the goal, but I see folks in the meetings so very close to their goal and they are kind of stuck...so I'm still reaching for the July 1, 2008 goal to goal weight. I'll be gentle with myself if I don't get there, as long as I'm close. :D
236.4 is what I'm tipping the scales at now.
Have I mentioned that new clothes are fabulous???

The smoke is back with a vengeance and so I'm stuck indoors. Would be fine if there was room to exercise in the trailer...But since it's not so air tight, I'm probably healthier taking it easy til the smoke clears. This weekend I plan the date night, we're starting with drink on a rooftop bar downtown. Won't be so lovely if the smoke is still floating around. You can look at the red sun with the naked eye...it's bad. I'm breathing ok, but being out there for even a little while makes me wheezy. Hoping for clear skies and no fire burning soon. I heard on the news yesterday that the area hadn't burned in over 100 years so there is a lot of fuel out there. :(

See ya next week!

1.6 this week.

New loss total is 55.4 lbs and I'm tipping the scale at 237.8

This past week was about OBSESSION. I just can't seem to stop obsessing about beating the system somehow. I starved myself after over eating on Wednesday night after weigh in. STOOPID. This system works, I don't need to game it, but here I go doing the psychotic mind game that is weight loss and I want it NOW.
So I'm stopping. Taking a break. Not going off the program, nope, I don't quit that easily.

I'm stopping the obsession. The week ahead will be about eating. Enjoying life and just NOT OBSESSING!!!!

Smoke is getting better, though the fire still rages. Makes exercising easier and breathing much better. I'm not being as active as I should. I think the heat makes me lazy. I thought they were kidding when they said activity goes down in the summer, cuz for me, it's always increased...but I'm being lazy this summer and feeling a bit demotivated. And that is ALL MY FAULT. I'm obsessing, and starving and doing so many things wrong. 3 things you gotta do to lose weight: You gotta eat, you gotta breathe and you gotta move. (Thank you Susan Powter.)
I'm not eating, I'm not breathing so well and I am not moving much. This MUST CHANGE.

I post this Monday night, just two days before my next weigh-in so I'll give you a preview of my week so far. I've been EATING. I've even used some of my weekly extra calories that I get. I've had an Aunt Annie's almond pretzel with butter and caramel sauce for dipping! (I tossed about 1/3 of it tho and at least half of the caramel sauce). It was delicious. I had a snickers bar!!! It was green to promote the new Shrek movie, which was kinda gross, but it tasted the same. I got a sugar buzz after the first 4 small bites (about 1/5 of the candy bar, no it wasn't king sized). It took me all afternoon to finish it. But finish it I did.
I moved a little, went for a walk with friends on Friday night, climbed a big hill. Walked to a date destination and back, not far, but a walk. Also spent 5 hours walking and shopping on Sunday- (I caught up on some rewards I'd been putting off for my successes. I got new dresses, one a birthday gift from my boyfriend's mom, thanks Mom! and I got a purse and a wallet. I also picked up a few things for the man.)- That's it. Thought I'd go for a swim tonight, but alas, after making dinner, the sun was below the horizon of the trailer in front of the pool so I didn't. :-/
I have tomorrow night and I will move this body. But I am done obsessing. I've broken the pattern and I expect to see a bit of a weight gain this week as I am sure I have shocked my system completely. I'm ok with that. I just wanted to get off the unhealthy path I found myself on.
So, Wednesday I shall only post my lost/gain and nothing else. I've already told you all there is for this week. :D

3 more off! I keep going and going and going. :D

YAY! 3 more pounds off this body. Total lost: 53.8 pounds since Feb 21, 2007 for a grand weight of 239.4!!! I'm in the 230's...haven't seen this weight since before we moved to Santa Barbara.
I feel GOOD. I'm going up and down stairs using BOTH legs now, the left knee clicks a lot less than it used to. I even HOPPED on one foot, (the left one) to get a rock out of my right shoe...something I NEVER would have done 53 pounds ago. I'd have broken my knee for the third time.
Smoke here is still terrible bad from the Zaca fire, it's blowing more towards downtown Santa Barbara and less right over us, but the cars are covered in ash and it's very difficult to breathe during exercise. I'm not complaining, it could be worse...I could be one of those families that have been forced to evacuate, lost their home to fire or displaced and not knowing yet. Not to mention all the animal homes that are being destroyed. It's sad, and it's dry and there's no end in sight yet.
I did swim this week once or twice, went for a couple walks on the Elwood Mesa and pushed myself to work it while still being able to breathe. Breathing is important! :D
Took myself for a haircut last Saturday and we spent the day downtown walking all over the place. It was a great date day.
Well, my caloric intake allowance has dropped once again, so with a few more 10 pound drops I won't be having trouble eating all the calories. By the time I reach near goal, I might be at a space where the calories are what I've become comfortable with anyway.
I've also reached a point where I have less than 100 pounds left to lose. (Applause goes here.)
I'm going to sign off and work on a project for a friend in India.
Be well and have a great week. Viva La Fiesta!

My first time UP.

Yes it was bound to happen at some point. This week I was up .2 lbs! hehehe, my clothes continue to fit better every week so .2 isn't scary. I also started moving again this week, something I haven't done much of due to all of the smoke and ash floating about from the nearby Zaca fire. So I walked a few miles two days this week and did all the wrongs things calories-wise. I didn't go over my allotment at all if you look at the entire week... :/ But I did the same thing I did before when I lost only about .1 or .2...I have got to stop jacking with my caloric intake and just eat what I'm supposed to every day. I consistently lose weight when I do that.
Funny that, 5 months into this plan, I find there are still a few things I'm a bit "mental" about. :/
I still feel great about my progress and .2 is nothing really, especially after the prior week's loss of over 5 lbs.
This week I'll be more active, I do SOMETHING even if it's smokey out. I can do an easy stroll, I won't get as many points, but I'll be moving and I'll still be able to BREATHE when I'm done.
I've learned one thing about weight loss...you have to be able to BREATHE to burn fat. :D
Have a great week! See you next!

Holy Moly! 5.8 lbs this week, total lost: 51 lbs

I'm floored. I'm thrilled. I'm so happy I could do the chicken dance.
Forgot to take the pictures this morning so will take them tomorrow morning before I head out for work.
I'm now 242.2 lbs and I've dropped 6 dress sizes.
I had a fun week, it was my turn to carry around the food journal for a week and I really didn't. I use my computer to track what I eat because I type so much faster than can write. So I printed each day out and cut them to fit and glued them to the pages of the book.
I went to the county fair on Saturday, took my son and a friend of his to with me to see Pat Benatar. I set them free to wander while I saved our seats for the show and sent them on a quest to bring me back a funnel cake and a bottle of water. They didn't fail me. :D
I'd been planning on that funnel cake all week so I knew I'd be ok, and it was FABULOUS. I shared it with Sam and Amanda so I didn't eat the whole thing, but I'll admit, I did eat the largest portion. About 20 mins later, I had a mild stomach ache. It was worth it.
Haven't been exercising much, walked one night but the "Zaca" Fire is not far away and in the evening (when I can exercise during the week) the wind changes and we're in smoke and ash. Not a good thing for an asthmatic to be breathing, so I hide inside and sit on my butt. :( I sure hope they get that fire under control soon, it's eerie seeing the smoke crawl over the hills here. And I do worry about all the animals without homes. There are Bears out there too. over 25,000 acres burned so far, I sure hope they get it under control soon.
Since I haven't been exercising, I've been doing some work in the evenings, preparing for our upcoming team retreat which isn't a retreat at all, but an intensive focus session. And also keeping tabs on a website changeover that's not going as smoothly as I would like it to. *sigh*
I'm also spending a bit more time in my "Second Life". I've been working on an upcoming show for a friend of mine, sort of a fashion show of sorts. Also getting rid of some land I've owned for a while in there and turning it into cash. I love that part of Second Life, you can make stuff and make real money. Just wish I could make stuff. hehehehe
I value the friendships I've forged in that virtual world, they've gotten me through some tough times in a real world where all my friends and family live so far away. In 2008 I hope to meet many of them in person.
Well, it's 7:30 and I've got work to do... bleh. :D See you next week!

1.6 and a week late posting!

Hehehehe, here I am facing weigh in again tonight and I haven't posted last weeks stuff.
I don't remember much. But I can tell you that I tipped the scales at a well rounded 248 lbs and that's pretty darned awesome.
Was a good week. I find my resolve a little challenged...but I'm managing. Mostly I'm slacking off on the exercise, but will regain my drive soon. Everyone has downtime, I'm just going to allow myself the space to follow what my body tells me, within reason of course.
Again, it was that time of the month so I'm pretty happy with a loss of 1.6 lbs. I also enjoyed some extra dark chocolate and some port wine. YUM!
Generally eating more vegetables, something I'm not very good at when not watching what I eat...fruits are easier but those go by the wayside too if I don't pay attention.
Still going along as planned though, so I'm feeling good. Pictures to follow in the next post.

3.6 with My Blue Jeans On!!!

Wow, I never wear my blue jeans to a weigh in, because those suckers can weigh 2lbs or more!!! I try to always wear these light weight sport pants to weigh ins so that I am consistent on the scale, who cares if the other folks think I never change my clothes??
Consistency MATTERS people!!!

Well, I couldn't weigh in on Wednesday night because it was a holiday so I went on Thursday and didn't bother to change my clothes. I was amazed when the scale said I'd lost 3.6 lbs. That puts me at 249.6 lbs a loss of 43.6 lbs now!!! That's 2.18 lbs a week! Not bad at all. :D :D

Going to go to storage this weekend and rummage through the clothes there, see what I can bring home to my closet. Going to ship the rest to my niece in Oregon, I think she'll find a few things she'd like, maybe I'll call her first and find out what will work best...and the rest can go to freecycle or some charity here in town. :D :D

I've lost 4 dress sizes and it feels GOOOOOOD! Date night is tomorrow and it's going to be an all day date, so I thought I'd blog today since I won't be around on Saturday.

I'm so happy! **Dances off**

Anyone can comment!

Yep, no longer do you need to register. Just post a comment. I will get an email to approve it, (to stop spam and rude people), and your words of encouragement will be there for me to read over and over. They really help when I'm having a tough day, so thank you to my friends and family that have posted a few. I love you all.

1.2 for total of 40 off this body

As of today, I am behind almost a week in posting. :( Last week's weigh in was good, week was good. Nothing special to report...my birthday was Sunday the first and there is no weigh in on Wednesday due to the Independence Day Holiday.
I'm thinking maintaining is a good goal since I celebrated the birthday but really didn't burn up to many of my optional weekly calories and today (the 4th of July) involves a barbecue that will fit nicely into my plan as well. So maybe I've actually lost weight this week.
I'm debating weighing in tomorrow or waiting til Saturday and going in the morning. :D :D Yeah yeah, an empty stomach weigh in will look good...but then I've got to stick to Saturday cuz the following Wednesday night could look like a gain. maybe I'll just wait and weigh in next Wednesday...what to do...
Did NOT keep my commitment to walk at ALL because my left leg gave me some grief and sciatic pain so I went to see my chirocracker yesterday and he worked his magic, pulled my leg and the pain is just about gone. I suppose I need to go more often, just trying to work out the details with my insurance. Keep your fingers crossed for me please.
I spent my morning chopping and skewering vegetables that I'll marinate in Chaka's MMM sauce and then throw them on the q. OMG I can't wait! I think I may just do that every single day this summer. LOVE IT.
My reward and birthday gift to myself was a starter kit of Bare Escentuals (used to be called Bare Minerals but they changed their name to be more sexy I guess), and it's exactly what I've been looking for all these years and exactly what they say it is in the commercials. If you've been intrigued and want to try it...I say go for it. A starter kit is only 60 bucks at Sephora and you get everything you need. Right now you can get the kit with free shipping at their website, just key in "GETSTARTED" in the coupon area at check out. I also bought some primer to put on my face first so that the color goes on smooth. I did NOT get the Bare Escentuals brand. I had the saleswoman paint half of my face with their stuff and the other side with some stuff called "spackle" yes "spackle" and it was the better primer so I bought that too. Check me out, I'm an infomercial. :D
Then I dragged Jef with me to the M.A.C. store where I picked out a lipstick in a cool tone. Jef was really sweet and bought it for me. Now I have my warm tone, my cool tone and everything I need to look pretty again. And isn't that fitting? I do feel pretty again. :D :D
I know I have a long way to go, but it's nice to feel good about me again. Really is.
Got a call from my middle sister on Sunday to say how proud she is of my progress and that she is inspired too. I know you can do it Sis, go for it!
My son took me out to dinner for the very first time in his life on the second of July. We had a great dinner, a nice walk afterwards and good conversation.
I guess I'll end this post and wish everyone a HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY! Stay safe!

2.8 pounds = 38.8 total

So here we are at week # 17 and I'm 38.8 pounds lighter. :D :D *Jumps for Joy, spins around, and does a little jig* :D :D
That's 2.28 lbs per week, and the guidelines are 1/2 to 2 pounds per week. I'm doing very well.

Walked 4 days this week, 4 miles each walk. I know it's four miles because I found a website that helped me figure it out. www.mapmyrun.com I do love the trek but the dog comes home with ticks and that is just...well...ICK! It's convenient, I leave the house, head south and in about 20 mins I'm at the coastline.

This week has been easy, nothing special going on either, except I'm wearing clothes that have been hanging in my closet never worn before. That's fun. Some of them, I'll admit, I'm wearing sooner than I should.

It's so funny to me that when I was on the up swing and gaining weight, the 254.4 pounds was terrible. Now it's great and I'm happy to be here and looking forward to the months ahead. The brain is silly sometimes.

Pictures this week. Has it been another 4 weeks already? In these I am wearing the same black pants that I started with. They fit a little different now. I can still wear them but I can also remove them without undoing them. :D

OH! One more thing. I've reset the blog so that anyone can post a message, no more do you have to create an account with Blogger. So, please go ahead and leave me a message if you want to. :D Love to hear from you all. (Except spammers...your stuff will be promptly deleted.)

The week ahead: Walk Thurs, Fri, Sat, Sun, Mon AND Tuesday. Seek out a not so tickish walk if possible. And if I don't walk, I will SWIM.

'Nother pound off, and Graduation day

Couldn't go to my regular weigh in spot because I'll be at my son's Middle College (High School) graduation tonight.

So I used my morning break to head over and weigh in somewhere else. One more pound off my body and that's just fine. Brings me to 257.2 lbs. I'm getting there! I've been increasing my walking to include a full circuit around the Ellwood Mesa which takes me 1.5 hours if I'm really working it and 2 hours if I'm working it but not kicking my butt. :D I've done it twice in the past week along with shorter walks with Jef. Clothes are fitting better whether the scale reflects that or not. This is where it's REALLY important for me to pay attention to my CLOTHES.

I'm changing my body composition from the lump of LARD it had become to a healthier model with MUSCLE in there somewhere. Some folks would say "muscle weighs more than fat" and that sounds good, but it's not true. The true statement would be "Muscle has less volume than fat." So that means that all the exercise I'm doing is slimming my body down but the scale won't change much for a while as the composition of fat to muscle changes. I'm OK with that. :D

I'm wearing a shirt I've not been able to wear for a couple of years and feeling like I'll look nice for my son's graduation ceremony this evening. OH! I can even wear the opal ring that Jef gave me for our first Newtonmas together. (For those of you wondering, Sir Isaac Newton was born on Dec. 25th.) I'm happy about that, I love opals and I really like the ring due to the triangular shape of the stone. It's different and pretty and I'm so happy to be wearing again. :D :D

Having some struggles with my son lately and it's all because I'm having trouble letting him go...that's MY issue and I believe I've figured out why and what and what's next. Just need to talk with him after graduation tonight and then back myself OFF. I sure wish I could tell him WITHOUT tears, but it seems I'm doomed to be tearful when it comes to this part of our life. And we'll both be fine. He's got good tools in his toolbox, I just need to trust he'll use them when he needs 'em. It's been rough, because it's always been him and me in each other's corner...and I had different hopes and dreams about how he'd separate from me and go off to become a man...but he's doing it his OWN way and it took me this long to realize that I'm having a difficult time because of MY HOPES. Reminds me of a favorite old song by Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young:

Teach Your Children:

You who are on the road
Must have a code that you can live by
And so become yourself
Because the past is just a good bye.

Teach your children well,
Their father's hell did slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams
The one they picked, the one you'll know by.

Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you would cry,
So just look at them and sigh and know they love you.

And you, of tender years,
Can't know the fears that your elders grew by,
And so please help them with your youth,
They seek the truth before they can die.

Teach your parents well,
Their children's hell will slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams
The one they picked, the one you'll know by.

Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you would cry,
So just look at them and sigh and know they love you.

Taking a deep breath and proudly watching him fly. :*-)

.4 Pounds and a Note To Self

Down to a whopping 258.2 lbs now. dropped 2 dress sizes and went to storage this weekend to raid and grab some smaller clothes. BIG clothes are going AWAY! All of them, GO AWAY. :D :D

Note to Self, DO NOT BLOG ABOUT "expecting" challenges...it does bad things to brain and suddenly everyday is a challenge. STAY FOCUSED ON THE GOAL and let the challenges roll off your back like water off a duck.

Jeez I complicated my week last week. Just found it more difficult than usual to focus on the goal...and not the food. So I learned, I move on and keep moving.

Took a two hour walk with my dog on Sunday From noon to 2pm, she slept the rest of the day. :D :D. I was energized, did laundry, sorted thru some storage, got some organizing of my stuff done at home, and even spent a little time in my Second Life.

My food log also showed me that I stopped getting enough vegetables in my diet. I don't eat much fruit, and I have also increased that. I was going for the chocolate rice cakes, the low cal snack cakes, and c r a p like that. Not good. Summer is here and the produce is delicious. Farmer's markets are happening and the sun is coming out. The pool looks better everyday.

Today I am wearing a dress I've owned for about 9 years I think, it fits AGAIN and after it doesn't anymore...it's GONE. :D

I never thought I'd be so pleased to weight 258 pounds. But I am. Yay for me.

Have a great week! I'll do the same.

4 lbs! A total now of 34.6 lbs!

Yep, told ya last weigh in that I would catch up. Seems to be my "cycle". So I'm at 258.6 now. YAY!
I walked a LOT this week, worked hard at work, and moved bunches. I've dropped a couple clothing sizes too.

Went shopping after weigh in but didn't find anything to knock my socks off. I'll look again this weekend. I seem to be in-between a 22-24 and 18-20...one is too loose and the other is too tight. Maybe I need a 21??

My son won a $500 scholarship to help with College in the fall, so we enjoyed an evening of the presentation event then out to dinner and talk. Dinner was planned ahead so that I could take him to any restaurant of his choice. Together we chose Tacone! A restaurant that makes Panini's that are FABULOUS. Again, easily fit into my plan. About my kid: He's a good kid, I'm proud of him.

This week I found myself wondering when I might hit a challenge that threw me for a loop, then I remind myself that I don't WANT to have a challenge that throws me so I shouldn't focus my attention on that for very long. I just see so many people having trouble when I go to weigh in, hear about how hard it is, and I guess I expect it will be for me at some point...and yet...so far, this has been the absolute EASIEST weight loss system I have EVER tried. If only I'd done this sooner...but I wasn't ready. Of course, if I had chosen the other of the two systems offered, I would be having a hard time. Let's hear it for freedom of choice and learning to plan!

I guess as my point allowance lowers, I may hit some rough spots, but so far, so good. :D I'm just enjoying the success. I'm averaging almost 2.5 pounds per week and that is fantabulous.

My man and I are reconnecting and he's done what he needed to do and it's all almost behind us. I'm thrilled...and a little ticked off that this thing that was such a dreaded thing turned out to be done in just a few easy weeks. Oh well, happens to all of us and I'll get over it. I'm just glad to have that part of his life on it's way to being behind us. I'm going to enjoy some champagne on the day it's really done. For me, it's something to celebrate, for him it's a bit more serious and reflective I guess. So we'll allow each other to honor the day in the way that fits us each the best.

Life is good. Really good.

Pictures and .8 lbs

Yeah, it was a good week, period week again so weight loss slows down. I've been moving more and did use some of my extra weekly calories...but only 3 or 4 I think.
Pictures will be posted this weekend. I did have them taken the morning of May 23, 2007 and I'll post the new pics next to the old ones for comparison. 262.6 yes!








Here they are all lined up in one pic for you to check out...click on the pic for a larger view. Oh I'm making progress, and this is exciting!!!

10% Goal! Total loss so far: 29.8lbs

Whooooo HOOOOOO!

Goal Number ONE obtained. Next goal, another 10% which comes out to be 26.3 (since I now tip the scale at a whopping 263.4 lbs. IF I continue to lose weight as I have been and IF I don't hit any plateaus...that goal should arrive sometime around July 25th.

I know I need to move more...still. Went on vacation though and still managed to drop 2.4 pounds this week. So I'm feeling pretty good about that.

The weather in Gualala, CA (up on the coast in Mendocino County) is a bit chillier than Santa Barbara, and the mornings were always breezy thru the late afternoon, when the wind would stop and the weather was more like Santa Barbara til the sun went down. So we saw more sun up there than we'll see at home for a while...it's June Gloom time, yes I know it's MAY, so June Gloom is a little early. (it was early last year too.) June Gloom means, Fog Fog Fog, day after day, for weeks. Then the sun comes out to stay for months...I guess there is more moisture in the air this time of year so we get more Fog. Although, we get a little less here in Goleta than they get up in the touristy area of Santa Barbara.

We had the opportunity to join the group for a couple of hikes, but day one we were dead tired, so we napped instead. (Hey, we were on vacation!) Day two, we went ahead of the group to gather up the dog to take her with us, and never could find the rest of the group...and then we couldn't find many trails that allowed us to walk our doggie, so we found a day use spot that would and walked her around there. I found a lovely wild iris growing there and took a picture of it with my camera phone. :D

All in all the vacation was a win though, I got a lot out of sharing ideas with some really really bright people who were interesting and talented in so many areas of life. Came back with some good goals for myself...probably the first time I ever sat down and nailed a couple goals down and really looked at "Where do I want to go?"...
I took the opportunity to take my doggie for a walk when we got back from the hike that didn't happen...our house was on a hillside so the driveway was quite a workout. I walked down it...then down Highway 1 for a bit, then back and UP the driveway. It was steep and my calves let me know about that walk for DAYS afterward. :D

I even enjoyed some Dark Chocolate and Port wine during my vacation, but I also made sure to account for it in my daily allotment of calories. I special ordered from the restaurant we all ate at on Sunday night. (I'm sure the chef was happy with me..23 of us hit the place without a warning...and here I am asking for special stuff.) They did a great job on my dish and I enjoyed the meal and conversation and the noise level immensly. 23 people can get REALLY loud.

We had dinner at one of the houses on Saturday evening, and watched grey whales swimming by. THAT was cool! Friday and Saturday dinners were potluck style and there were so many people there already into being healthy that it was easy to make good choices. Some great cooks in that bunch too!

More pictures up next week, I've dropped a pants size and am wearing jeans I've not been able to wear comfortably since I bought them. (so why the HECK did I buy them? because I got them at Susie's Deals for $5, THAT's why!)

We're settled in to our new space in the trailer park, with the pool right behind us. Time to find the ear plugs and get out the swim suit soon. (Weather not quite ready for me to be in the pool...June Gloom, remember?)

Off to have a busy day OUTSIDE today. See you next week with Pictures!

1 more pound off this week.

Well, it was a week of eating out a restaurants and that makes it hard to KNOW what you're getting. I've never been one to go out to a nice restaurant and have the salad. I don't see that changing anytime soon, so I'll have to make sure I pick the right restaurants in the future. So Here I am at 265.8 lbs and yesterday and today I'm feeling FAT again. Funny thing is, I AM FAT - :D - but the successes of the past weeks has had me feeling more svelte. I know, I know, funny. Well, I'm feeling fat again, and that could be considered a positive or a negative, depending on how you look at it. I see it as a positive with potential negative pitfalls. Being aware of the pitfalls will keep me on the positive edge I think. :D

I did walk less times this week, but the times I did were more intense, I'm going further and really paying attention to how my muscles are working.

Tomorrow we leave for vacation, but generally most of the food we eat will be prepared by me so I'm sure I'll be ok. If I don't lose anything, I'll miss a goal I had made by .6 of a pound so I really do want to make at least that. But really, the overall goal is reach the big goal so I'll be doing my very best to account for every morsel I stuff in this face.

I had an interesting idea put in front of me that I'd never really entertained before, and that is, when/if I need a little break from the whole calorie counting/weight loss plan...why not just focus on taking a break and MAINTAINING the loss? I'd never really thought that one through before... In the past it was ON the diet and OFF the diet...

So I'd like to say I'll be happy if I maintain my loss thru my vacation, but the truth is, this is way too easy to follow and I'll have no excuse to only maintain and not lose weight this coming week.

Wish me success and good times. :D

2.4! Total is now 26.4

I weigh in on Wednesday and then Jef and I go on vacation...it's kind of a working vacation, and I'm looking forward to it as well as a little apprehensive.

I'm still going strong, this Saturday I didn't count as stringently as I should have...eating out can make that difficult. I think I did ok, but I definetly used some of the extra calories I get every week that up til now I've been trying not to use at all. It was a fine dinner tho so no regrets. :)

I'm moving more regularly, and it's showing on the scale. I do notice that it's imperative that I eat ALL the calories I am allowed each day...and that I lose weight better/faster when I do. I also feel better, satiated and more under control.

It's now Sunday night and time for some relaxation before going back to work tomorrow.

Thanks for reading. :)

Another great week. 3.4! Total now 24 pounds off!

Late posting this...and it's actually the end of week 9 I think..(I weigh in again tonight.)

But wanted to mention I am just 5 lbs away from my 10% goal. Whoo HOO!!!

I've been walking the dog at least 3 times a week, and boosting the speed at which I cover the mile we walk. Some days are tough due to knee pain, but I'm doing it anyway. (Bonus is: Ally is learning MUCH better manners about LEASH walking.)

Had a good week, a busy week, and spent a lot of time in www.secondlife.com ...I'm building a lovely house in there with some cool new building tools I bought. It's fun to be creating something...even if it's only digital. It's really got me engrossed. Silly to some of you who've never been there, but if you had...you'd completely understand.

More later, after weigh in tonight. :)

4.4 more, that's 20.6 in 8 weeks!

This was an amazing week for me. I really thought I was going to hit that scale with no weightloss whatsoever. I did a lot of physical stuff at work and, though I didn't keep my commitment to walk at least a mile 3 times last week, I did walk 2 days and then there was lots of standing, walking and moving at work.

Stepping on that scale and learning I'd lost 4.4 pounds was amazing. I still can't believe it.
So, I had pictures taken that morning and decided to wear the same outfit I'd worn in the first pictures, for comparison. There isn't MUCH difference in the picture, but I sure can feel it in my clothes. I'm wearing jeans I've not worn for a year.

I worked my tushy off on Thursday at work...to the point I was physically exhausted when I got home that evening. Took my son out to dinner Friday night and caught up with him, I ate some dungeness crab and he had a bowl of beer boiled shrimp. The shrimp were the whole shrimp and the look on his face was PRICELESS. He ate them and enjoyed every bite. My crab was scrumptious. :)

I had Friday off and enjoyed being a lazy person. Thursday really kicked my butt. Took my doggie for a walk today. I was having some pain in my knee so I decided not to push it too hard. The walk was only 30 mins and a little less than a mile but I came back feeling that I'd moved, that's for sure! Also, once I was just about home, my knee stopped hurting so I'll probably go for another stroll this evening.

Tomorrow is the 7 year anniversary of the day Jef and I met for the first time face to face in a Starbucks in Newark, CA. We talked and talked and decided to take a walk in a nearby park and talk some more. We hiked and talked, got rained on and found that we really enjoyed each other's company. A friendship began that day that's carried us through some rough spots these past few years. There's a big hurdle still happening, and times have been rough, but he has the power to fix it...so we'll see what happens next.

I weighed a bit less back then...put on about 110 pounds since that day. Kind of sad, to think I was 30 pounds away from my goal and I let it slip away. But I learned that I have to LIVE a new way of fueling my body with the occasional splurge. I've learned to find the feeling behind the desire to eat when I'm not hungry and honor it, and then the feeding frenzy passes with no damage to my body or mind.

For instance: I came home Thursday and I just wanted to eat whatever I could, everything I could think of! Anything I could think of! Then I took the time to think about it and I realized that what was really going on was this huge sense of relief. That the hard part of the work year, the really difficult part, is over. The rest of the year is about regrouping and preparing for the next year. I was relieved and I think behind it was a bit of a feeling that I deserved a reward of some sort. But it really helped just to acknowledge and completely allow myself to feel the relief I was feeling. To FLOP myself on the bed and let out an "AAAHHHHH! YESSSSS" did wonders for my peace of mind.

I'm also learning not to stuff my feelings, but to share them, as openly and honestly as I can, while considering the other person's feelings as they hear my words. (mostly...I'm not perfect.)

It's been a tiring week, but a good week and I'm feeling good about my progress and still oh so motivated it's rather sickening. I really have "flipped a switch" and nothing is going to get in the way of my goal this time. NOTHING. I'm sure there are some bumps in the path ahead, that's life, but life doesn't have to derail my choice to live a healthier lifestyle.

I do notice that, with the increase in movement, I get hungrier, so I might want to look at my points allowance in the future and re-figure them based on a more active lifestyle. I think this has worked so well because I am NOT hungry when the days daily calories are consumed, I'm enjoying every bite and I can eat pretty much whatever I like as long as I account for it.

I'm really enjoying the Hungry Girl website and get the daily newsletter with tips and tricks and reviews of new foods out there for those of us making heathier choices, so if you haven't already, go there and sign up, I promise you'll be glad you did.

I think I've gone on way too long once again, so I'll end this post by saying I feel great. Thanks for reading!

1.4 pounds. Total loss now 16.2

I'm pretty happy to have an avg weight loss of 2lbs a week. :)

This week, I will avoid eggs-cuses and get out and WALK. At least 3 times this week I will walk for at least one mile.

The good news is, when we return from our mini vacation, we'll be placed in a site that is right NEXT to the swimming pool. What a perfect time of year...June to Sept at poolside. SWEET! I'll be getting some movement in the pool, gotta find my noodle. :)

Also learned about a yoga class for 50% off...something like 58 bucks for 8 sessions I think. I am curious and that's a good price to check it out. Not sure it's for me, but 58 (there is also a 45 dollar intro class special...6 classes I think) dollars makes it something to consider. I have to take advantage before the end of April if I am going to do it...dunno yet. It's not convenient to home...and walking and swimming is...so we'll see.

I also want to get a bicycle. A GOOD one. With a really cool, comfy seat like I saw at www.campingworld.com because the main deterent to riding a bike is that my butt starts hurting pretty bad, even though I want to continue riding. So that's one of my rewards to myself in the near future I think.

I talked to one of the ladies tonight at weigh in and she said I have to eat ALL my calories or I'll slow my weight loss down...I guess it's metabolism or something...so, as much as I struggle to do so, I'll work harder at it...

Saw my son tonight, he's doing ok, and I got lots of hugs and "I miss you's". That was bittersweet, but I'm glad he misses me, cuz I miss him too. I did tell him to call his grandma Sharon, so I hope he will. (crossing my fingers.)

Busy busy at work, too busy sometimes to remember to eat or drink, but I'm managing.
Still very dedicated, maybe a bit obsessed...so I need to MOVE and eat all my food this week and every week to come...

So, my promise to myself and to my blog readers is that next post I will happily say I walked at LEAST 3 times this week, for a mile or more. See you next week!

.8 and that's not great...but going in the right direction

Guess that weekend trip went over points just a bit.

I have GOT to start walking again, enough of this fear of tachycardia...just get MOVING.

Added a few interesting things to the blog: The "ticker" to the left there shows my total weight loss, and there are links at the bottom of the page to some of my favorite sites to use during this progression to the me I used to be.

Jef was going thru his plastic cards last night and found a picture of me from when we met 7 years ago, yes 7 years ago. My hair looked terrible, but my face is sooooo different. And it's obvious that my son looks like me in that picture. I'll have to scan it and include it in the next entry.

Weigh in again tonight! I think I lost a few more pounds...we'll see.....

14 down, 15 to go!

Good week, nothing really to report. My son is still choosing not to live at home and I'm adjusting to that. Injured my back at work, just STANDING there...how crappy is that??? But still hobbled in to be weighed and found I'd lost another 2 lbs. :)

15 more to get to the first goal of 10% less than my starting weight.

I'm not struggling at all, in fact I've lost a few allowed calories and that's kinda cool. (I've been tempted to eat a few calories less than I'm told I can to help speed this process up! - but know that's not a good idea...still...I AM tempted.)

The ultimate goal is to celebrate my 47th birthday at my ideal weight of 145 lbs and at this rate, I do believe I'll get there!

I'm pretty diligent about tracking EVERYTHING I put in my face and planning ahead, at least day by day. I usually start by deciding - with Jef - what's for dinner, then I plan the rest of my meals to allow for whatever we are having. This way, Jef eats pretty much what he wants to eat, and I stick to my plan. :) It's been working from the start and I've enjoyed things like whole wheat pasta with alfredo sauce and proscuitto...sometimes with the added deliciousness of shrimp too! And Chili dogs! I figure, I want my calories to COUNT! I want to enjoy delicious stuff, not just anything...funny how that priority changes when you are paying attention to what you eat. I like it. Everything I eat must be delicious, or I consider it a complete waste of time and calories. I think that's a good thing.

Didn't blog til late because we took a trip to Calabasas, CA for the Methodfest Film Festival where I met an internet friend face to face. What a fantastic time we had! I just adore this person and am so grateful to have the internet that connected us. Jef enjoyed meeting him too and we had a great time. I did break my toe though, and that sucked.

Had a wonderful salad down there that was a variation on one of my favorite salads to make at home...so I now have a new way to enjoy one of my favorites that adds bulk without adding calories. YAY for new ideas.

I also discovered Kernel Season's Popcorn seasoning. 2 tbsp is only 50 calories and that is more than enough to sprinkle on my low fat popcorn. A few spritzes of "I can't believe it's not butter" and I am in white cheddar popcorn HEAVEN. It's a great salty/crunchy snack and only about 180 calories...for a whole bag!!! Yes, I DO eat the whole bag. :) I'm just glad it's in the stores now and not just at my favorite movie theater.

14 pounds. I'm pretty happy about that. Was entertaining thoughts of wearing clothes I wore when I met Jef 7 years ago...of course that is about a year away, but I am looking forward to that.

Since I hadn't rewarded myself in the last few weeks of success, I combined them all up to a nice hotel and a rented car for trouble free travel to Calabasas and just enjoyed the heck out of watching films and seeing my friend and the nice drive with Jef. It was worth waiting for. :)

More this Saturday!

2.2 pounds! Twelve in Four

So here we are at the end of week 4 and heading into the 5th week of a new way to eat. Last weeks stress is slowing down but not gone, and I found Thursday to be a day of wanting to eat, eat and eat. But instead, I consumed a little more water than I normally do and ate a few more veggies. I am telling you - I am determined to be healthy!

Found my favorite popcorn seasoning at Albertson's the other night and I am in HEAVEN I tell you! I would go to the movies and eat a large bag of popcorn slathered in this stuff! (Not a horrible snack, but I did use that awful movie butter to help it stick!) Now I pop good old Orville's 94% fat free popcorn and dump some of this white cheddar seasoning from Kernel Seasoning's and enjoy a wonderfully delicious low cal, high fiber, low fat snack. mmmmmmm it's wonderful. I'll continue to enjoy it at the movies too, just a smaller bag and no added butter gunk. The seasoning sticks ok as long as the popcorn is hot. I might try "I can't believe it's not butter" spray and see if that helps a little bit. I'm just glad to learn that one of my favorite snacks is not something I cannot have. :)

Have been lax about exercise and so I promise to take the dog for a walk today. I am also dropping my intake of food a little with this 12 lb loss. I figure it's another way to lose weight and stay on track. I don't want to get too discouraged by that darn scale!

As promised: PICTURES! Someone mentioned...well a few folks mentioned...that I looked unhappy in the first set of pictures. OF COURSE I DID! I am HUMONGOUS! However, these pictures feature a happier me, because I am 12 pounds lighter. :)

I will leave this blog at that. And take my doggie for a walk. Have a great week, and check back next Saturday evening or Sunday.

2.4 pounds, new meds make me feel a lil funky and dealing with emotions around missing the 10lb mark.

Here we are at another win: I weighed in at 283.4! Another 2.4 pounds shed this past week. (applause goes here.) That puts me at 9.8 pounds lighter than I started 3 weeks ago. Not bad! I figure, if I reach the goal of being half the woman I was when I started this thing, I'll get there by my 47th birthday. (1 1/2 years away.)

I found myself feeling kind of disappointed after the weigh in. I really felt like I'd done well..I even went to bed many nights with MANY calories left uneaten. I think I'll do my best to get all my recommended calories in and trust it will lead to great loss. :) I'm getting better at planning meals ahead too.

It took a while to get over the disappointment in the number on that scale. I was SURE I was going to break that 10 pound mark this week. (see prior post!) But alas, I think I slowed my weightloss down by cutting too far back on the calories. I'm also taking that new medicine for my heart which can cause water retention, lightheadedness, dizzyness..but should pass in a week as my body gets used to the medicine. Of course, I am to tell my doctor if I start to retain too much water...that's a bad thing for my health, forget about the scale!

So I struggled to finish my points Wednesday night and still went to bed short about 3 points. :/

Still have the mindset in place, and feeling good about the healthier choices I am making for myself.

I meant to post this sooner, but Friday night was tough, and Saturday was filled with tears and depression. I stayed on my plan though.

3.6 pounds, Exercise and a Trip to Emergency

Well this past Wednesday, I weighed in at 285.8 pounds! A loss of 3.6 pounds for a total of 7.4 pounds so far!!! (Applause goes here *GRIN*)
A little less than the week before, but I think that is fine, since I started my period the following day. :) (Sorry if that's too much information, but I'm pretty happy about that.) I suffered almost zero PMS symptoms and my skin experienced minimal breakout too.

I went out last weekend (the weekend before weigh in) both Saturday and Sunday and took a long walk along the bluffs here by where we live. Saturday was challenging, but doable, so Sunday, like an idiot, I kicked it up a notch and climbed a steeper hill, pushing too hard all the way up...but I made it. Enjoyed the rest of my walk with the man and the dog. Came home, did the dishes, sat down with some a big glass of Crystal Lite Lemonade on ice, got my laptop out to play some Second Life and suddenly WHOOM!!! My heart started racing. (Third time in the last 2 years.) I did all the stuff they told me to try to make it stop...no luck. Off we went to emergency to find I had a heart rate of 204 to 215 bpm.

Emergency was a zoo; the nurses were tripping over each other to get me wired up...IV, prepare injections, hook me up on oxygen..., which she promptly ripped out of my nose. HAHAHA! Then gently placed back in my nose. What could I do but laugh? They wire me up for the EKG...I get one done before and after injection and then the little nurse starts rolling the machine out and I have to tell her..."I'm still connected!!" Too funny, but scary too. Anyway, the first injection (adenosine- a natural amino acid) did the trick and my heart stopped and resumed beating at about 110 bpm. They made me stay til I'd sucked up an entire IV bottle and my h/r was down to about 90 bpm. We came home and I took it easy.

This is not life threatening and it's actually not uncommon either, but should I have issues with arteries being plaqued, then I could possibly have a heart attack...one more reason to get the weight off and eat healthier foods.
I went to see my doc, I now take 5mg a day of some Calcium channel blocker, because he and I agree that what I am doing is the right thing and he wants me to be able to exercise for goodness sake!

This weekend I think I will not exercise quite so vigorously, didn't walk today, beyond 40 mins of wandering the grocery store, (that COUNTS people!!!)and I will take an easy walk with the dog tomorrow. The man is having some rather bad back issues and so he may or may not join me. I am thinking he shouldn't, he was fine til we walked last Sunday...Maybe I should avoid walks on Sunday all together. HEHEHEHE.

So three days into the next week, and I'm having the chocolate cravings, and wanting to eat! Eat! EAT! But I learned last time I took a lot of weight off, that my body has a cycle that goes with my menstrual cycle. And there are about 3 days a month that I just don't try so hard to watch what I put in my face. That's not to say I forget about it completely, but I'm not hard on myself for giving in to the ice cream or the snickers bar. I know in three days, I'll be fine and the cravings will be gone to be seen in another month and that is OK. This time though, I have tools like the Skinny Cow ice creams and the Weight Watcher's brand isn't bad nor are the Healthy Choice ice creams. But If I want a Snicker's bar, I'll have it; I don't think they make that low cal anyway.

This is a new way of eating in general...and I'll stick with this for life...I realize I did it right last time, only thing I did wrong was stop making the right choices. This time, I am in it for life. I know it works.

Mindset is still solid, enjoying eating a plateful of veggies during the day, consisting of 1 bell pepper (either red, yellow or orange, I do not like the green ones), some celery, carrots and a cucumber. Mmmm refreshing and delicious and so filling. I also remember how much I like a baked potato with salsa and a touch of cheese. (Thanks for showing me that one Kathy!)

Work keeps me busy enough I need to remember to eat, but I'm staying hydrated and I've cut way back on caffeine. I'm finding it easier to wake up in the morning, sleeping a bit better and experiencing less acid reflux. Even after eating 4 Jack in the Box tacos. Yes 4. I can do that if I plan right...and I basically missed lunch. *sigh*

Last weeks reward was shopping. I went out to Lane Bryant and bought two pairs of capris, two camisole tank tops and a necklace for 40 dollars. (The capris were less than 5 bucks a pair!) Ever the bargain hunter, I caught a great sale and I enjoyed mixing up what I bought to create 4 different looks. Fun stuff and a great reward I enjoyed all week.

This Week, I took myself out and had my eyebrows shaped by an Indian woman who does the "threading" technique. It was amazing. I was in and out in about 5 mins. It felt like she was taking all of my eyebrows, but when she was done, I felt like I was ready for the red carpet. They are shaped beautifully and so clean! What a treat. That will be a reward again in the future. I'm so please with the way it turned out.

I'm thinking the 20-pound loss reward is going to be a hotel room with a big deep sunken tub for me to just soak in til I am pruney. I do miss that!

This week I expect to break the 10-pound barrier. Wish me luck!

Thank you again to all of you who post comments and email me. It really is helping, and I appreciate it so very much!

Til next week then...

Week one complete and a weigh in

First I want to thank everyone who reads this for the positive posts, emails and phone calls I've gotten. I really wasn't expecting the level of support I have received and I am amazed and humbled. Thank you everyone.

I've decided against a picture EVERY week, that's just ridiculous. I'll do a new picture every month on the 21st and we'll watch me shrink. At the end, I'm going to get some help making a flash presentation of the incredible shrinking woman that I mean to be! On to the foody stuff...

The first diet week was Easy. Mind set in place all well. No glitches. I did use some spare calories (it's allowed) but generally had a great week. Weighed in on Wednesday night with a loss of 3.8 pounds. I'm pretty happy about that since I haven't even started exercising yet. And I AM drinking plenty of water, so don't give me that crap that it's all water weight. I'm keeping this win and you can't take it from me. :p

So here I am, now weighing a lofty 289.4, which doesn't feel like much of a change and it isn't, but it's in the right direction. :)

Thursday was a bit of a family drama day, so I found my old habit rearing it's ugly head...FOOD! NOW!!! ROWRRRR!!! "How did you deal with it?" you ask...I was well prepared. I had my low calorie chocolate cake and a cookie with me. And we have some 100 calorie Hershey snack packs at work. I had chocolate and didn't blow my diet...plus I recognized it and didn't have the sweet stuff til well after the "craving" passed and I'd gotten on with my day and some lunch. :)

I am lucky, I work for some nice folks who understand that sometimes, your personal life requires you to be there to handle it. In the midst of our busiest work season and I missed half a day. No one batted an eye, and although I was stressed about it before I got there, I was very much ok when I got to work. That helps with work stress a LOT.

Had a fun day on Wednesday too. We had a vendor bring us lunch from Chili's so I took a few mins to find out the cost of their food to my diet...(a diet that 2 others in the office are on..and I think a fourth person is joining us as well, just unofficially. I shared that information with the other two and we all ended up having the lettuce wraps. Avoid the peanut dipping sauce and you are A-OK.

I Know this is all about mind set and I can tell I'm in the zone. No big hurdles...no falling off the wagon...truth is, I'm not ever starving...don't think I ever have been. lol. I'm just, once again, paying attention to the food I put in my face.

This week, more walking and gearing up the exercise. Wish me luck!

This is me. I'm 45 1/2 years old and tired of the YOYO that has been my life with weight and food. On February 21, 2007, I signed up to try a diet system online with live meetings in town. For now, I am using a plan that allows me to choose from all the foods in the world because I know better than to restrict myself from foods I CAN'T have. My brain requires the freedom of knowing I can eat what I want, even if what I want is a snicker's bar.

What's my goal, you ask? Well my goal is to get my body down to about 145 pounds and a little less if I can. But for now, using the diet system I am on, it's just to lose 10% of my current weight which as of the pictures you see above is a whopping 293.2 pounds!!! Holy moly how'd I get back here??? Too much comfort food, chocolate and cookies. That's how! So for now, my goal is 29.2 pounds.

So here I am, walk with me...I'll blog each week after weigh in, talk about challenges, rewards, upheavals, plateaus, making better choices, shopping, and all things that need altering in my life in this Journey to the Thinner Me. If you'd like to cheer me on, I welcome your input. If you want to post rude things about me, try to restrain yourself. This blog is for me. To inspire me to keep going until I reach my goal and stay there.

I started Wednesday, but it's now Saturday night. So far, so good. The only thing I need to do is increase my water intake...and ask a few questions at the next gathering. I don't want to share to much about the plan I am on, even though I am sure many can figure it out. I am not writing this to promote anyone, and I may change the plan I use as I go along...again this blog is for me. To keep me on the path to being healthier, living longer and being able to move about the cabin more freely.