tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57563030262078295342024-02-07T01:18:08.272-08:00Journey to the Thinner MeThis will an online journal of my experiences and endeavors to finally, once and for all, lose weight and keep it ALL off. I've lost weight many times, this is the final trek. Walk with me. :)~Elizabeth aka Lacquered Lizardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15284216550238824479noreply@blogger.comBlogger91125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756303026207829534.post-10354984614437546602011-05-01T19:09:00.000-07:002011-05-01T19:29:05.837-07:00Day 3 of Cycle 3 - so much good stuff going on.Just finished watching the movie "Eat, Pray, Love" and was reminded to be mindful. All the things I learned from reading "Women, Food and God" came back to remind me to enjoy the entire meal, from prep to eating. <br />
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I made a creation for dinner tonight, made poor man's spaghetti sauce but it was damn flavorful and delicious. I didn't have all the vegetables my mother would have used, but I did a good job filling in with what I do have and it. was. amazing. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSb35u8PcsExEUF05vKkzE8TVHS-9mDdOhlnMyJPUcJBrm4AcTtgjSA_dL6TwYxVKaSJf5pIAIeAi7HZw03iH1gHTWAS36DMcXDJr_u1qnMQiklrliq93sE7A1OxJhG5O2udznyFz4wva-/s1600/2011-05-01+14.06.35_Goleta_California_US.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSb35u8PcsExEUF05vKkzE8TVHS-9mDdOhlnMyJPUcJBrm4AcTtgjSA_dL6TwYxVKaSJf5pIAIeAi7HZw03iH1gHTWAS36DMcXDJr_u1qnMQiklrliq93sE7A1OxJhG5O2udznyFz4wva-/s320/2011-05-01+14.06.35_Goleta_California_US.jpg" width="320" /></a>All the things I've been reading, learning and incorporating into my life are helping to create a much more peaceful space, one where I can stop and smell the roses. One with less guilt, less stress and whole lot more love, happiness and smiles. It's good to be me again. <br />
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I'm down from 277 to 249 as of this morning...28 pounds in 37 days. Not bad! Not starving AT ALL, feel GREAT and the best part? My blood pressure is healthy again. No meds! <br />
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Currently, my short term goal is to be close to 230 by the end of May. I want to be able to walk around Seattle and enjoy the city a bit without knee or hip or back pain. I want to be unconcerned about how I fit into the airplane seat. And I'm well on my way. <br />
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Only thing I've been lax about is exercise and when I do get out and move, I'm reminded of how out of shape I've let myself become again. How difficult it is to do things that were easy just a couple years ago. I also remember how I got to the point they were easy and so that has given me the motivation I need to keep going, once I start.<br />
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So the next few weeks will mean more moving. LOT'S more moving. Less computing, less facebooking...detaching from this box I'm typing on and getting into the world. I'll post about as often as I am, unless I have some huge AHA! moment to share.<br />
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Just know, if you're reading this and struggling with some addiction, whether it's food related, cigarettes, drugs or something else...recovery is a journey too. You'll fall down sometimes...but each time you fall is a chance to learn about yourself and what makes you tick. A chance to look inside and make changes where you want to, changes that don't come easy or go away in the blink of an eye. Changes that come with stumbling and grasping and choking and stomping...but the changes come...you can get healthy, whatever that means to you.<br />
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For me, it means being the best me I can be, whatever size I wear. As long as I'm healthy (which I am not at the moment) the rest will take care of itself.~Elizabeth aka Lacquered Lizardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15284216550238824479noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756303026207829534.post-52524648636089759042011-03-28T11:48:00.000-07:002011-03-28T11:48:23.734-07:00New day, new plan (Day 3)A few weeks ago, while flipping channels for some background noise while I polished my fingernails, I came across Dr. Phil talking to some ladies in his audience about an eating plan that he and the show "The Doctors" are hyping. The audience members had lost quite a bit of weight and were singing the praises of the plan so I did some research.<br />
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I found it is a modified Atkins-type plan that changes a few things up every 17 days. "This could be the plan I can get my hubby on board with!" I thought. So I bought the book on Amazon for less than $13 and it arrived a couple days later. I skimmed it for the basics, made a shopping list and this past Saturday, we began this new way of eating. <br />
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Day three, and though I find my car wants to turn into the old haunts, my body steers me down the same bad aisles of the grocery store, I am not hungry or feeling deprived or anything. Of course, that may have a lot to do with my mindset. I'm back on the determination wagon. I feel pretty good, though a little tired today, mostly from lack of enough sleep last night, but generally good! Hydration is such a good thing. I forget that sometimes. <br />
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I'm hoping to be at least 20 lbs lighter by the time I go to Washington State to visit family and friends. <br />
I don't have a working scale at the moment, (we need a battery for it) but I'm guessing I tilt the handle at a whopping 268 or so... 100lbs up from almost reaching my WW goal. I let a little shame get in my way...and could not get over it and get back to the meetings. My issue, I'll wear it and work on it. <br />
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Wish me and hubby luck as we travel this road together for a change. :)~Elizabeth aka Lacquered Lizardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15284216550238824479noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756303026207829534.post-59659757849738215772011-03-04T13:53:00.000-08:002011-03-04T13:53:09.756-08:00I've recently come to the very strong conclusion that I have become 'closed off' from life. Shut down from the bad stuff and therefore unable to enjoy the good stuff...with so much pent up frustration and emotion that the tears are always threatening to break through in a deluge of salt water to shame the Red Sea.<br />
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<div>Life coaching is helping though I keep losing focus and going down paths that won't really help me reach my goal...no fault of my coach, he keeps asking me what I want to work on...but somehow we've been ending up discussing my job and how I can make that better...unfortunately, his perspective is from the outside looking in and without the information I have from working there these past 6 years. It's not a bad place to work, but changes are happening that are completely outside of my control and so I do my best and ride the wave of change. </div><div><br />
</div><div>However, since the life coaching thing is only focusing on one viewpoint of my life, and since I've recently enjoyed a talk over at one of our local Buddhist Temples in town, I've decided to take an 8 week course there called "Everyday Happiness, Happiness Everyday" and I think the timing is perfect.</div><div><br />
</div><div>Today, while surfing their site: <a href="http://meditationinsantabarbara.org/">http://meditationinsantabarbara.org/</a> I came across these videos. The one on Stress spoke to me so I watched it and remembered how I used to be. So much awareness has escaped me in these last two years. I am sooooo stuck in anger and suffering. I am looking forward to remembering who I am in the weeks ahead. Then maybe I will be fully ready to re-engage in this other Journey...but the Journey to the INNER me is taking precedence because the INNER me is in such turmoil that the Thinner me is just about unreachable.</div><div><br />
</div><div>For the next few weeks, I will share what I've gleaned from the classes ahead and hopefully find my way back to the path of the thinner, healthier me during this exploration. </div><h2>Introductory Videos</h2>Some brief teachings given by Kadampa Teachers from across the United States on various topics: <br />
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</script>~Elizabeth aka Lacquered Lizardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15284216550238824479noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756303026207829534.post-3579168686687667742011-02-22T22:54:00.000-08:002011-02-22T22:54:57.815-08:00Time to begin....againHi everyone. I'm ready. Ready to begin again. I've allowed myself to gain back most, if not all, of the weight I lost here...and I don't know exactly because our scale needs a battery. How convenient.<br />
Tomorrow night is Weight Watchers. I'm going. I'm sucking up my pride and shame and going to take care of me.<br />
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I thank a friend from years gone by for inspiring me to get back on the wagon. Thanks J.<br />
You can find her blog <a href="http://jschiavio.blogspot.com/">here</a>.<br />
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I've learned a ton of things about myself, my body and my mind these past couple years...and right now, I'm going to pick up "Women, Food and God" and give it another read.<br />
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Here we go....Pictures and weight in the next post. We'll post up once a week after weigh-in.~Elizabeth aka Lacquered Lizardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15284216550238824479noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756303026207829534.post-72480016278067758092010-05-17T15:40:00.000-07:002010-05-17T15:40:00.135-07:00Turning Stones in the Path<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 13px;"></span><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Today some folks at work are argumentative. eh. One of them - like me - always wants their pov to be right so we bounce around a lot, and there's always this residual "ickness" that continues afterward within myself for quite some time. Today, I finally put my finger on it. Unfortunately, not until after I ate something even though I wasn't hungry, and now, though I am not stuffed, it sits in my gut like a rock.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">What I discovered today after stuffing my face...I haven't mastered the idea of "inquiry" but I did think it over and talk outloud (I guess that means I had "the voice" chatting at me)...and found that the frustration I feel is about not being able to adequately express my pov IN THE MOMENT. I always regret not being able to say what I mean when I'm having the discussion. I get a bit caught up in the argument and the physical response (fight or flight) and lose my ability to think clearly. Then, I end up having the conversation with myself for WEEKS afterward trying to make my point. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">I am not yet sure what the corrective action is for this behavior, I just know I want to change it. I want to clearly state my point in the moment, not let my emotions get the best of me, not worry about what the other person will think of me and say my piece to be open for discussion.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">I realize, in some cases, it isn't going to matter much whether I have any pov on some subjects, but if I'm invited into a discussion, I want to have my head about me so that my stomach won't take over afterwards.</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">There is also "the voice" to contend with in the minutes/hours/days/weeks ahead (sometimes I revisit the episode YEARS later...wtf???) The voice telling me I am stupid. It tells me that I am unworthy of having an opinion if I cannot adequately express WHY I have it in the first place. The voice beats me up about this one quite often...so I'm going to start dealing with that first off. </div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Choosing to be Mindful is hard work, but seeing this clearly for the first time...so worth it!</div>~Elizabeth aka Lacquered Lizardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15284216550238824479noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756303026207829534.post-84396338491463138412010-05-08T18:03:00.000-07:002010-05-08T18:04:58.079-07:00A Whole New Path<div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">While recovering from knee surgery, I took the time to read a ton of books. Some fiction series follow ups that I love and a few books of the "self-help" genre. A friend told me about a book she was reading so I checked out the prologue on <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Women-Food-God-Unexpected-Everything/dp/1416543074/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1273363542&sr=1-1">Amazon.com</a> and knew I needed to read it. Why? I've been dieting and beating myself up for most of my life and so I could relate to this book. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">I'm sharing this now because I was moved (as many of you were) by <a href="http://blacknailpolishandlipgloss.blogspot.com/2010/05/mirror-mirror-on-wall.html">Andrea's Post over at Black nail polish and lip gloss</a> and have been wanting to share this book with the world since I got so much out of it. I know that not everyone will, but when I find a gem like this, I usually end up telling everyone I know to CHECK IT OUT CUZ IT'S THE BEST THING SINCE SLICED BREAD!!! Yeah, that's me...and that's ok. :)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">It took me the whole week to read the book not because it is a big book, but because I kept having to set it down to think, absorb, cry, thrash, get angry and, finally, accept. I realized that I had, once again, forgotten who <b><i>I</i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"> am and gone back to believing what other people's stories told me I am. I also came to realize that I was trying to fill my non-stuff compiling life up with stuff again to counter the difficult financial times the husband and I have been facing. I mean, if I have all this nail polish, then we aren't struggling so bad, right??? RIGHT???</span></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">What I learned mostly was to be present again. Be passionate about life and most of all, remember that I am beautiful just as I am right now, and now and now. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">First thing I did was to cancel my Weight Watchers membership. Yep, I've had great success and some backsliding with that plan but, I learned so much there and because of the time I spent learning their "Tools for Success" I was ready to hear the message in this book. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">I'm done dieting. I'm done telling myself I don't measure up to someone else's idea of what is beautiful. I'm also done eating absently and not enjoying every minute, including the minutes I spend feeding this glorious body I've been blessed with to walk on this beautiful planet I get to call "home." </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">And when I hear that little nagging voice, the one that tells me I am not enough, I don't have enough, I'll never BE enough...I will, as soon as I realize I am buying it's bs, tell it to shut the hell up! It has been a little over a week. ONE WEEK and without counting calories, points, or carbs, without weighing and measuring, without denying myself what my body wants, I'm getting healthier. I've lost 9 pounds. NINE. Just by being present when I eat. I share that because, as the author, Geneen Roth says, "It's not about the weight and yet, it's not NOT about the weight" For some of us, healthier means losing weight, for others, it means gaining or maintaining while nourishing our bodies. For me, it means some weight needs to leave my body...and I will never, EVER diet again. I'm free. I'm back to being me and I'm going to enjoy each moment, even the hard ones, even the tears. I'm here! I'm alive! And that is a very cool thing.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">What is this book? If you clicked the Amazon link above, you already know, but if you didn't, the book is </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">Women, Food and God: An unexpected path to almost everything.</div>~Elizabeth aka Lacquered Lizardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15284216550238824479noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756303026207829534.post-66121661560033380402010-04-11T21:41:00.000-07:002010-04-11T21:41:14.344-07:00Two years - 60 lbsI am up 60 pounds from my lowest weight on this blog. I found the one thing that can derail me and I've not yet found the way to deal with it in a healthier way. Suggestions are welcome for future bouts with this derailer.<br />
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Chronic Physical Pain took me DOWN for the count. I can handle emotional challenges like nobody's business, but physical pain that grew worse over time with no relief in site...that did me in. I was reaching for the comfort foods all over again.<br />
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I am happy with the fact that in two years I've managed to only pack on 60 pounds instead of all of it and then some. Each time I go down this path, I learn more and gain some but not all of it back and more, as I used to in my younger days.<br />
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I'm not happy that I am not at my goal and enjoying lifetime status at Weight Watchers. I am back to blogging, lose or gain because it helped. Motrin helps and the upcoming knee surgery and some physical therapy will help too. Weight loss will help as I know...though I almost punched the doctor who told me that losing weight would help my back and knee. DUDE, I was 60 lbs lighter before all this PAIN started...help me outta pain and I can do this. Duh, sometimes...I just kick someone.<br />
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I don't expect to be full on back on the wagon til after surgery, but will blog here as it helps me clarify what I'm doing and what I'm learning and keeps me honest.<br />
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Thank you all for stickin' with me. I'm going to get there before I hit 50! (I've got a little over a year to do so, and therefore, I know I can.)<br />
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So, once again...join me on my trek as I continue to learn what my obstacles are and learn to overcome them.~Elizabeth aka Lacquered Lizardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15284216550238824479noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756303026207829534.post-89592797703462256722010-04-11T21:05:00.000-07:002010-04-11T21:05:00.611-07:00RANT about healthcare and Kaiser Permanente in particular.<div>This has been sitting in my drafts, but I thought I'd go ahead with the post...now that I'm on the road to recovery and have gained a boatload of weight back...the light at the end of the tunnel...TWO years later...is close. I hope to be back on track by end of April...after knee surgery.<br />
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I'm in pain and I'm tired so this will be highly emotional. Bear with me and hopefully this will reach the realm of the people in charge of healthcare reform.</div><br />
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<div>When I was a young woman, about 21 or so, I don't remember now exactly but I know I was at least 21 or so, I was out riding a bicycle that was a bit too tall for me with my friend DeeDee (aka Deanna) in the San Francisco Bay Area at a park known as Coyote Hills. I bumped in to my brother's best friend who, at the time, I was dating...or so I thought...and he was there with another young woman. Upon finding this, in my pride and shame, I rode the too tall bike off in a huff and braved a hill I shouldn't have...not a big hill, just too big for my emotions and physical stamina at that time. This hill led out of the camping area and to the bike trail toward home. A place I really wanted to be in, to have a good cry, be where my mommy was and generally wallow for a bit.</div><br />
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<div>Instead, I took on this hill with not enough push and the bike began to fall over...I put my left leg down to stop the fall. When my foot hit the ground, I heard and felt a loud "Pop!" and immediately knew I had blown my knee. Why did I know this? My brother, Chris, who was 4 years older than I, had done a similar thing whilst playing high school basketball. We were close at the time and he shared the details of the day with me...including the sound and feel of that "Pop!". So I KNEW.</div><br />
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<div>Adding insult to injury...the new girl was my ride home. I am grateful she did that for me and over the injury...so long ago. The real story starts NOW.</div><br />
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<div>Off to Kaiser Permanente I went. You know: the people who want you to live long and thrive. Back in the 80's they didn't care so much...and I was too young and hadn't been taught to be my own advocate in the world of medicine where the doctors are only PRACTICING medicine as there are new findings every MINUTE. </div><br />
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<div>So, months go by...Kaiser doesn't do an MRI on my knee, they feed me bullshit about how it's just a "stretched tendon" and how "it happens all the time in girls, especially cheerleaders" of which I was never one. The years pass, and I deal with injury after injury to the same knee, stupid things really: walking! wrestling with my (now ex) husband, hopping over a fence in Idaho...each time I am back at Kaiser Permanente only to be told the same bullshit as before and handed a new brace to wear. </div><br />
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<div>Yes, they did an examination. This involved the doctor trying to force my knee to bend in ways I am unwilling to allow as it's just UNNATURAL and it's been years now since the original injury and I've developed some serious muscle to keep it from bending that way unless there is some serious stress on the joint.</div><br />
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<div>So...2002 or so and I'm living in a new town, still on Kaiser Permanente insurance even though it means I have to travel 45 minutes to get care. I injure the left knee at work...can't even walk on it. After the fiasco of dealing with the incompetent doctor at the clinic for occupational injury...I decide to go to my own doctor (Kaiser) who, upon finally getting me under anesthesia finds she can "bend my knee every which way from Sunday" as she tells me upon my reawakening. The "second opinion" insisted upon by the worker's comp insurance says: "if the ACL (anterior cruciate ligament <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Premature_atrial_contraction">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Premature_atrial_contraction</a>) is in need of repair and you're going in to repair a "bucket handle" tear of the miniscus, then by all means, repair the ACL too."</div><br />
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<div>So, the orthopedic surgeon finds that, it's been so long since the left knee has HAD and ACL that there isn't even any remnants of one...they use a cadaver ACL, some screws and fashion me a new ACL...and, oh-by-the-way, that bucket handle tear needs removing and now you only have half the cushioning on the inside of your left knee than you had before...</div><br />
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<div>I am know almost 50 years old. I suffer many repetitive issues with my left hip and my sacrum going of synch because of this. I deal with pain, recovery, weight loss set backs, depression, anger and frustration because Kaiser Permanente didn't care if I lived long and thrived back then. All they cared about was that MRI's were expensive and they didn't want to spend that kind of money on a young woman who might just have a stretched ACL. I wasn't taught to be my own advocate for health. I wasn't taught that doctors are only PRACTICING medicine and don't LIVE in MY BODY so they, therefore, have no clue what is going on...that I have to be consistent and insistent on getting the care I believe I need to be healthy. I knew back then that they were wrong...but I let them do what they did, I lived with NO ACL for over 20 years. Thanks Kaiser Permanente. I live long and thrive now with hip and back pain that recurs at least annually. Requiring trips to the chiropractor and massages and constant stretching.</div><br />
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<div>Had you kept your promise to care for me, and to educate me to care for myself, I would have had my ACL repaired when I was in my early 20's and might have escaped the secondary and tertiary injuries to the left knee joint as well as so many years of left hip and back pain due to the atrophy of muscles in my left leg. </div><br />
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<div>If I come across as bitter, it is because I sit here, yet again, with back pain an unable to MOVE as I'd like to and therefore gaining weight and adding to my frustration. But wait! There's more!</div><br />
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<div>I took my son to your doctors when he was a wee small boy...maybe 4 or 5?...he was having intermittent chest pain...and though the doctor took it seriously and did what he could...it wasn't until YEARS later and new insurance that we took him to emergency and they caught on their heart monitor that he was having PACS <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Premature_atrial_contraction">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Premature_atrial_contraction</a> induced by stress and manageable.</div><br />
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<div>Thanks Kaiser Permanente, we live long and thrive in spite of your lack of care. </div><br />
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<div>I'm bitter tonight. Humor me. This is all true. I'm in pain and angry...again. </div><br />
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<div>I know this seems "off topic" for my blog, but it's not. If I can't move properly, exercise is a serious challenge. If I am in pain, everything else is a serious challenge. I'm working on regaining my focus. This week, I am focusing on drinking two of my 1.5 liter bottles of water a day. So far, since committing on Thursday, I am only up to one full bottle per day...and it's been a slow built up to that over the past few days. But progress is progress and it COUNTS dammit!! </div><br />
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<div>I miss riding my bike, walking without pain, SITTING and SLEEPING without pain (or drugs to numb the pain!!!) I want my health back and Dammit Kaiser Permanente, you owe me! </div><br />
<div>I can't go back, but YOU can educate the young people coming to you, you can encourage them to be their own advocates, to ask questions and demand the care they know they need. </div><br />
<div></div><br />
<div>Health care reform? how about just health care in general... </div><br />
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<div>enough ranting. I'm going to sleep. </div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756303026207829534.post-20304534252392217862009-08-11T15:01:00.000-07:002009-08-11T15:51:35.145-07:00Vegan / Vegetarian lessons.Weighed in last Wednesday night at .6 lbs less than two weeks prior. I had a big UP from heading to the Bay Area for a big event. I was enlightened there too.<br /><br />Did you know that Vegan or Vegetarian food can be JUST as fattening - if not more so - than "regular" food? Well, let me tell you... IT IS! I ate less than most people there, I ran around the mansion like a crazed woman, I worked and worked and worked. I skipped the group hike and hung out at the mansion and ran up and down stairs, cleaned the kitchen MANY times and basically ended up pretty sore at the end of the weekend. At no point was I ever "stuffed," though I will admit there was some dessert enjoyed. I gained 6 pounds in a weekend!!!<br /><br />Well it's all gone plus .6 as of last weigh-in so that's behind me, but I couldn't bring myself to go to the meeting between the gain and the week it took to get it off plus .6 Argh. <br /><br />Success is actually quick, but I slowed myself down with that weekend away. Which brings me to the next challenge: High School Reunion!<br /><br />That's right, we're heading up to the San Francisco Bay Area once again this coming weekend. There will be food, fun, dancing and socializing.<br /><br />There will also be a nice visit with a life-long friend who will just happen to be in town at the same time so we'll be doing something together. I suggested a walk around Lake Elizabeth in Fremont's "Central Park" but breakfast was mentioned too, so maybe we will do both.<br /><br />Either way, there will be 10 to 12 hour spent in a vehicle and that's a lot of sitting on one's butt happening! Why don't hotel rooms have DVD players??? I could bring my workout DVDs with me and get a few 10 min butt kickin' workouts done and over. That's not a bad idea...either I bring my own player or memorize the moves and do it myself...Could be fun walking around the town I did most of my growing up in too! So I've got plans on how to avoid the weekend up swing, including drinking 12-16 8 ounce glasses of water! Prepare for many roadside stops husband of mine. :) It's the only way!<br /><br />I weigh in again tomorrow night, and will report more promptly and add more to what's happening and such then.<br /><br />Have a great week!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756303026207829534.post-89460411918600464052009-08-02T13:37:00.000-07:002009-08-03T14:58:05.256-07:00Epiphanys and remembering the journeyIt's been a long time since I've written anything here. I went a little numb and refused to face the facts I've learned along the way. In the process, I've put on 40 pounds. (I was thinking it was 50, did the math 4 times to be sure...so I'm suddenly not as sad as I was a few moments ago! Silly silly silly. But see, I can deal with that a lot better and already I'm more encouraged to do things about it.<br /><p>I've struggled with blogging, and found that twice I've tried to blog about being stuck and what I've learned, and didn't finish them...there they sit in my "draft posts" waiting for attention. This is yet another attempt, and so far, it's taken me 3 days to get this far. </p><br />What have I learned in these months of silence and numbness, you ask? Well, let me tell you!<br /><br />1) Goals are not what we're taught they are. Goals are the target we shoot for, and they are flexible and maliable. The beauty of a Goal is that is gets you pointed in the right direction, BUT if you make them too rigid, you may be setting yourself up for failure. Think about your past goals, the ones you didn't quite make...how did you feel about missing that boat? How many did you push out a bit to give you room to still attain the goal and how many got left behind, given up on and forgotten?<br /><br />2) I am an addict. I knew this one, but had to relearn it, again. I will always need to go to my weight watchers meetings and I will always need to track what I eat. I will always need to use the tools for living as they have proven, time and time again, that when I use them, they WORK. I believe that is the main reason I chose this plan, once I do reach my goal weight I am a lifetime member. Free support as long as I maintain, that's pretty darned awesome.<br /><br />3) The title of my blog was my biggest epiphany of late: JOURNEY to the thinner me. I keep setting the wrong kind of goals and forgetting that this is a JOURNEY. Hence, I'll be doing this for a while. Most likely, the rest of my life. I will stop pressuring myself and get back to enjoying the journey. :)<br /><br />4) I feel like CARP when I eat the stuff I like to stuff into my face when I'm not making healthy choices. Physically - I feel horrible, emotionally - well, that's the worst, the downward spiral of addiction is right in there, mentally - how can I be mentally prepared for anything while in the throes of addiction??? Pains, strains and lack of mobility all come together to make me one very unhappy person.<br /><br />5) I have to put MY HEALTH before everything else. EVERYTHING. That goes for: the stress of daily living, choosing to enjoy that chocolate cheesecake because it tastes so darned good NOW, taking on too much or doing too much when what I really need to do is rest.<br /><br />6) And this one was a BIG reminder this past weekend: I need to FEEL my feelings. I am an emotional creature. Always have been. I have to FEEL my way through life in order to find my way. I keep trying to keep that part of me under wraps to maintain a socially acceptable version of me that I've somehow managed to create in all it's distorted vision. I laugh loud and hardy, I cry and am moved to tears by any deeply felt emotion, even laughter! I'm a BIG personality and I'm coming to grips with that and realizing that it's OK to be ME and all that that entails. Funny thing happens when I feel my feelings: I can see clearly to solutions, I can move beyond them and into logic (sort of) and the best part? I am free of all that bottled up guck that keeps me from being true to who I am, turning me into some stoic version of who I think I SHOULD be. I'm learning lately, that all the bad things I think of me are not held by others. I am always surprised at how highly others think of me, being a victim of my own version of "if you really knew me..." I'm sure many of you know how that game is played. <br /><br />So I had a REALLY good cry this weekend. (After attempting to blog and trying other distractions.) I let it all hang out. Mostly because, everytime I tried to put it back where I stuff it away, it would leak out again. I had been holding it in to the point I had no choice but to deal with it all or go bonkers. <br /><br />Afterwards, I found it so easy to stay on plan, to exercise, to BE with my husband and share my thoughts and feelings. I remembered who I am, and I realized that I am ok right here, right now.<br /><br />And you know what happened? I lost 4 lbs in one day. One day. I know, it won't always be that way, but it was a clear signal to me that I am doing the right thing again. I'm taking care of me. As long as I do that, I can do anything!<br /><br />Thanks for reading!<br />See you next week.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756303026207829534.post-90419905011052853682009-04-02T15:11:00.000-07:002009-04-03T17:06:53.794-07:00April Fools and ShowersApril Fool's day was weigh in day and I am down 5 lbs. That's 9 pounds since getting back on the bus three weeks ago and doing the right things to get myself into health.<br /><br />Yay! Feels good to be back in control, while around me, life tosses challenge after challenge. I can deal with what life tosses me, sometimes eat too much because of it, but generally, if I do HEALTHY things to deal with stress, I come out ahead. What a concept!<br /><br />I'm still up from my lowest weight, but that's ok, I'm focused on reaching my goal of 155 lbs by my birthday this year. That's July 1, 2009 and that gives me 3 full months to lose the weight. 34 lbs to go and at 10 lbs a month I think I can get there, especially if I increase my activity going into Spring and Summer.<br /><br />I'll be heading up to San Francisco on the 15th of April to visit with my son who's in art school up there, and there will be LOTS of walking. I've made arrangements for a refrigerator and a microwave in my room so I can have store bought food and avoid too many restaurant visits while I'm there. I've found some great walking tours to take and I think a walk across the Golden Gate will be in order. I've not done that in a VERY long time, don't think I've been in good enough shape to do that for a VERY long time, so it will be fun and maybe I'll toss a flower in the water in remembrance of my mother, who's ashes were scattered in the ocean just outside the Golden Gate. (I wonder if that's legal?...guess I'll find out when I am there.) Basically, what I am saying is I have a plan in place to keep me sensible while I am there, and of course a little room for enjoying some of the things that are San Francisco: Sour Dough Bread! Ghirardelli Chocolate! Crab! Is there any other food San Francisco is known for? Eh, not important, those are the ones I care about. :)<br /><br />And then, there shall be bike riding, and LOTS of it! That is because I am retiring my 1983 Toyota Cressida, bless her chassis, and will be car-less for a while. So it's bus and walks or riding the bike for a bit. On rainy days, I'll drive the jeep or ride the bus. The state will give me $1000.00 for retiring the beast and that's what I paid for her, so I'm grateful to have put in some money to have her driveable for 3 1/2 years and turn her in for what I paid. Not a bad deal at all. My next car will be a new or at least a newer Toyota I think. They've certainly proved their worth to me! 1983??? She was quite a looker in her day, sun roof, electric windows and doors, full on climate control, large trunk, 6 cylinder kick ass engine with 5 speed manual transmission. Alas, her engine is failing and her smog controls work no more. The state will pay me to take her off the road, and I've sent in my application today...so it's just a matter of time. I have to admit, I'll miss driving that little car, she had some get up and go and it was fun to surprise people with that. :D<br /><br />Have a great week!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756303026207829534.post-64063335849169346022009-03-17T10:50:00.000-07:002009-03-19T14:09:39.123-07:00Time Marches on...And I'm not doing what I need to be doing. :( And if I don't get on the wagon NOW, I won't make it to my birthday deadline yet AGAIN.<br /><br />I can't believe I'm letting this happen. I am not powerless, I'm just being lazy and stupid...and passive-aggressive. And yet another thing learnt about ME, and shared with my wonderful Hubby. I realized I am worried that if I get to my goal weight while he's still a big man, I will find myself getting resentful and angry with him...kind of like the wait for our marriage. :/ I got a lil cranky after a while. :/<br /><br />So, while I <em>realize </em>this is <em>my</em> demon to deal with, it's still something to talk with him about and share thoughts on and hopefully inspire him to do what <em>he </em>needs to do to get healthy too, and I'm NOT just talking about weight here...do internal work and fix the reasons you DON'T do what you need to do to take care of yourself...we're not spring chickens anymore, my Love. (He reads my posts by RSS feed so that's directly to him. *smooch*)<br /><br />Now that this little demon is in my awareness, I've been able to really be back on track. Afterall, <em>who</em> was losing with that silly behavior? I've been doing a lot of research on passive-aggression and how to stop behaving that way...did you know that there isn't a whole lot of material on that subject? But there sure is a ton of it available for all you poor souls out there that have to deal with us. (sorry!) I have found a few good websites with some little blurbs on how to begin...maybe that will be my next blog...or something this one will morph into. Afterall, it's still part of my journey. :D<br /><br />I weighed in last night (March 18, 2009) at 195.4 which is a 2.6 pound loss for the week. I didn't do much and really wasn't ON program until yesterday, but I've been 'getting there' so-to-speak. As of yesterday, I am there. I rode my bike to work and to the weigh-in...I didn't stay for the meeting though, it was a BEAUTIFUL evening and so I took the long ride home. (7 miles) and enjoyed moving rather than sitting more. :D I rode my bike in to work again today and will take the long way home tonight again. And I'll do that all over again tomorrow, but I am hoping to get an earlier start so that I can ride in to work and enjoy that view of the beach.<br /><br />Thank you to my anonymous posters, one being my sister, for reminding me to be kind to myself as I trek along. Setbacks are a part of everything in life and so being reminded to be kind to self is always a good thing. Remember to be kind to YOURSELF today. Smile, think of things for which you are grateful.<br /><br />I'm grateful that I've paid attention to my clothes this time. I will not shop for clothes again until the ones I have are fitting comfortably or hanging off my body. :D<br /><br />Have a great week!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756303026207829534.post-60879909470701963212009-02-11T13:21:00.000-08:002009-02-12T12:16:41.248-08:00Figuring it out...one day at a time.I'm back on the plan, and even rode my bike a couple times this past week.<br /><br />Tracking everything I eat and making sure I get the 8 healthy guidelines in each day...well at least 6 of them usually. :)<br /><br />And so far...I'm down 10 pounds according to my home scale...of course I was up a bit and not going to meetings to weigh-in. :(<br /><br />So, that's the next step to getting back on plan: show up for meetings. And starting next week, I will be there. :D Seriously...I should go tonight, but I need to show up with a loss after being gone for so long...for my own emotional health...yeah yeah, wimpy, I know. But I know how <span style="font-weight: bold;">I</span> am and to keep this ball rolling, I need to show a loss. Silly me. Plus, I made plans for this evening forgetting that I had weigh-in tonight. Turns out I couldn't go anyway. I hurt my back while sitting in my chair at work and ended up going home early and laying down for the night.<br /><br />Anyhaoooo, I've figured out a few more things this past week. One of them so obvious to me, it's kind of funny that I have to "discover" it again. In telling myself "I am FAT" everyday a few times a day, I behaved like the fat person I used to be. Stuffing my face with whatever and not really even enjoying it, some of it was downright NOT WORTH the calories either, tasteless C R A P if you really must know. I've rewritten that tape loop once again to something more in the direction I am heading, "All I eat turns to health and beauty"...kind of hard to choose that 16 point Reese's Peanut butter bar when I KNOW that's not going to turn to health OR beauty! :D<br /><br />I'm still hurting a bit from the back pain, and comfort foods are calling my name, so I'm having to work with that a bit, still a bit of a struggle from time to time, but I'm definitely back on track and the best thing is, I'm still learning new stuff!!<br /><br />Have a great week.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756303026207829534.post-3290313582761393512009-01-30T13:13:00.000-08:002009-02-05T16:51:17.619-08:00StrugglingSo I've really hit the wall. BIG TIME. However, I'm still not giving up.<br />I was outta control these past few weeks, completely and utterly, and it was all emotional eating. Sometimes disguised as boredom eating or even stress eating, but generally it has been emotional.<br /><br />Why? Well, that took some soul searching to figure out...but the result was: I felt and still feel powerless in so many aspects of my life right now. The only thing I really felt I had any power over was what I stuffed into my face...and so, of course, I was choosing to shovel things I haven't and the new me wouldn't...just to "show them" I can do whatever I want.<br /><br />How ridiculous is that?<br /><br />Of course I can, pretty much, do whatever I want! Why the heck am I choosing something that's hurting me??? That's when the gong sounded in my head. "Stop Hurting Me!"<br />Seems, whenever I feel hurt or powerless, the first thing I do is internalize it and mask the pain by hurting myself in some other way. Of course, this is disguised as something that indicates I have power over something again and the paradox continues, until I hear the gong.<br /><br />So it rang loud and clear...I wallowed in the powerlessness of it all for a few more days and then I went shopping at the grocery store and started working the program again. First order of business, PLAN AHEAD. So I bought Frozen Veggies, cans of soup and frozen meals, healthy foods to have at work to keep me on track.<br />I'm also working on staying on track when I get home at night, and the cold weather has made me lazy so we're going for bicycle rides this weekend and hopping back on for riding to work and back next week.<br /><br />I'm only 32 pounds away from goal...all the mental stuff that goes with that is just overwhelming sometimes.<br /><br />But there has been a paradigm shift for me through all of this...and I may be repeating myself...but I look in the mirror now and I see a woman who's still fat...not some hottie who's lost 120 pounds and is full of her new found sexiness. LOL! And I'm noticing my clothes don't fit so well, some not at all. :*( And yet, I'm still not actually MOTIVATED to fix the problem!<br /><br />What I've decided is this: I'm taking a break from the plan. Not a full on, return to my terrible eating habits, dump all the great progress I've made and get out the fat pants kind of break. This a break from beating myself up for not being at my goal already. I've come to realize that I need a physical: to allow my body to adjust to the new "set point" of my current weight so that I can shake it up again in a month. Mental: to regroup and find my motivation to continue on the plan and work through the tools for living and understand this powerlessness and the eating it triggers. Emotional: To allow myself some time to grieve a loss in the family and come to terms with the feelings of failure that have crept in, in spite of all the progress. Spiritual: to get back in tune with the essence of why I'm doing all of this.<br /><br />I've come a long way, I've got a way to go, but I'm definitely growing and getting better. My goal is to get to my final goal weight by my Birthday. A year later than I originally anticipated, but this is a journey...and one doesn't always reach one's destination as planned.<br /><br />For now, I'll learn to maintain the loss I've accomplished so far, and prepare to jump back on the plan in March.<br /><br />When I first started this Blog entry, over a week ago, I hadn't yet figured out that I am in fact, absolutely powerless. And I'm coming to terms with that and realizing that that is absolutely OK. I will never have complete power over anything in my life, that is just illusion. I have no control or power over life at all. I can only do what I can to express my nature and continue to steer myself in the direction I wish to go. Whatever life puts in front of me, I'll deal with. Appreciating every moment for whatever it brings...and always looking for the silver lining and growth that comes with the "hard" times.<br /><br />My husband's brother-in-law died unexpectedly Sunday the first of February. Lance was a character and a good man. I'll miss him. His passing is what brought me to the realization that we can only do the best we can, we have no power, we have no control over what comes our way. We can work toward things and hope they come to fruition, but there are no guarantees, and one day, it can all be taken away from you. Better make the most of it while you're here. Share your love openly with the folks around you. Make up with friends and family you might not see eye to eye with or at least come to terms with the real reasons you choose to keep your distance. Get real with yourself and be real with the ones you love. You'll make the world a better place for your being here. Lance did. He made Guitars and loved his family. My sister-in-law and nieces and nephew are doing ok. I'm a wreck, but I am a deep feeler. I don't tip-toe into my emotions, I dive in and feel 'em fully and then move on. So, I'm feeling the loss in my own way...feeling broken hearted for the family Lance leaves behind and working my way through the idea that, from now on, Lance lives in our memories.<br /><br />Call a loved one...do it right now... and have a great week.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756303026207829534.post-5819237402365623572009-01-18T07:43:00.000-08:002009-01-18T08:35:23.427-08:00Down 4.4...only 32 to goTotal to lose is 32, according to my Ticker...but according to the latest goals set at the WW meeting, I need to lose 5% of my New Year Weigh in, which was 183.5 I think...so my current goal is 9.2 pounds or so...that means current goal weight is: 174 pounds. I weighed in at 183.9 this week, so I'm actually UP from the beginning of the year by .4 or so.<br />Kinda sad, considering I was down to 168.8 not too very long ago...<br />But it's all a learning experience and this week has proven to be a new challenge in dealing with stress and emotion. Ahhh life. :D<br /><br />Pluses for the week so far: I rode my bike to and from work Monday thru Thursday only driving on Friday. My WW week goes from Wed to Tuesday...so I've got 2 good days of exercise under my belt. It's Sunday, January 18th as I post this and we spent the day out on the motorcycle yesterday. Just explored the hills of Malibu and then up the coast. It was hard to believe we were in the middle of winter here. 86 degrees in Santa Barbara. Just a gorgeous sunny day. But I digress...I get some activity points for the motorcycle ride, though not as many as if I'd been the actual DRIVER of the bike.<br /><br />Today I plan to work some and then get out on my bike for a bit. Have to go in to the office and see what is happening with the SD card I put in my pc so I could get some photos off of it for the front desk person to enter some data for me this coming work week. So I guess I'll be riding my bicycle to the office on a non workday...is a good thing...since I'll be driving in tomorrow, leaving early and then driving up to San Francisco tomorrow afternoon.<br /><br />Which leads to the stress and emotion....<br /><br />NEXT Monday, my 20 year old son begins Art school up in the city of San Francisco. I'm excited for him and also concerned, and dealing with the feelings that come with knowing he'll be pretty far away. I know it's not like he'll be in another state...but the times of texting, "hey let's have dinner together tonight" are going to be behind us for a while. The convenience of seeing him at the drop of a hat, walking on the beach or whatever...are going to be gone for awhile. There's positive in that though...HE'LL have to learn to plan ahead to make time for our visits.<br /><br />He'll be up there in the big city in a mostly safe environment, and a part of me is also envious that he is off to enjoy that experience. I'm just a ball of twisted feelings at the moment...and I'm sure there will be tears as I drive away from San Francisco, leaving him behind to begin his big adventure. So I'm taking the husband and the dog with me. :D Someone else may need to do the driving for a little while. :D<br /><br />I'm eating more as I try to deal with all the emotions flying by...so I'm moving more in hopes of counteracting most of the damage. Part of this whole trek of weight loss is learning how to manage my weight and learn to have other outlets besides STUFFING ONE'S FACE...and now's a good time for a long conversation with a close girlfriend.<br /><br />HEY! I'll have some good girlfriend time next weekend so that will help A LOT! Of course it involves another drive up to the Bay Area so I'll have to find a way to get some exercise in too. Forecast says rain...so I better take my raincoat...haven't walked in the rain for a while...maybe I'll do that.<br /><br />Agenda for the week ahead: Get work to the point I don't have to stress too much about it while up in San Francisco, Load up the son's belongings and head up to get him moved in to the dorm, Explore the area for job ideas and check out the dorm and such. Enjoy a nice dinner in the city somewhere, take him back to the dorm and head to my hotel, enjoy an evening with husband and dog, drive home Wednesday and enjoy the ride and the sites...I am taking vacation days for this so I might as well get some relaxation in there while I"m at it. If we get home in time, go to weigh in and take the hit. If we don't, then I'll have to hit a meeting Thursday. If I tell myself I'll skip it, that's asking for trouble. So I ain't going to skip it and I hope the walking around San Francisco Tuesday afternoon will help a bit. :D<br />Long car rides can be detrimental to weight loss. :( <a id="publishButton" class="cssButton" href="javascript:void(0)" onclick="if (this.className.indexOf("ubtn-disabled") == -1) {var e = document['stuffform'].publish;(e.length) ? e[0].click() : e.click(); if (window.event) window.event.cancelBubble = true; return false;}"></a><br /><br />Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out...and know that he's got the tools in his toolbox to get him through the rough stuff. That bird's gotta fly, and if I did my job right...he'll soar.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756303026207829534.post-20235036671302566582009-01-13T10:33:00.000-08:002009-01-13T10:38:06.608-08:00My ride to work<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/lizzratt/3194649994/in/photostream/"><img alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisoPaCzmDCWlnVAe9RFbeu5_bjMMGjWLMJ2Gxygqr-uStvQdKmWdTJHaKd_0HY3uryu5pS1E_vd0FAvlC75Vk3yRySMveR2-0yfWNOOYc823DBb45Fc_jMiAw8QD70Jbtsn4V_x7cdSbD7/s160/CIMG1047.JPG" border="0" /></a> This is my ride to work. I rode my bike in this morning. These pictures are from October I think...but the ride this morning was quite similar. Click on any of the pictures to get to the full stream on Flickr. Have a great day!<br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/lizzratt/3194649596/in/photostream/"><img alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyCKx1lrhqxFw8pTF-fAeRa17aV0LTA0e6kUWC_v6G45SdJ-Xm3fJK3hK9bJGObi1ZSDhZ2jvEgesuO64r8_aJ_5XXUn3WDjNBe35axg5nDMjv_NswWL6XMjD6AjKFJ3HcY7TWgkDWl4YL/s160/CIMG1048.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/lizzratt/3194649228/in/photostream/"><img alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjivNqeomiNU1446RTUgw-JDTzd33CFb4a3d7p6ABlPD1UV6PQdYlIL61R0xqSI3mQPGZH_k7zQtv3keL1AdQrodwoazHKcWlwiXfoB1nAq-ddaLTIL_V58z-yEOXBLJat2b36NCBSGhgdd/s160/CIMG1049.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/lizzratt/3194648838/in/photostream/"><img alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIiWHRFFyt-yJQ9DFjqe3aT4vDphVpB42AsCaqM5yPHpsJ-vQlYQtIPnw_lWf0XFIcRd6ffGMYRr_5oUjAnkvMJoQSJRN8sv8t1-5dA6c94JTflIuf7xojim6VEpQwFVx7N9HR8S-2-j-O/s160/CIMG1050.JPG" border="0" /></a><div style="clear: both;"><a href="http://picasa.google.com/blogger/" target="ext"><img src="http://photos1.blogger.com/pbp.gif" alt="Posted by Picasa" style="border: 0px none ; padding: 0px; background: transparent none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" align="middle" border="0" /></a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756303026207829534.post-58313899573141448642009-01-08T14:00:00.000-08:002009-01-08T14:12:55.717-08:00Thank goodness it's a New YearI hope this post finds you all looking forward to the new year without too much trepidation. I'm excited to see what our new president will do when he finally has the power to make some changes. I hope you're all looking forward to making some changes of your own. As for me, I get to start over. My goodness the holidaze were hard. As you can see by my ticker above. :(<br /><br />So, what did I learn from this experience...<br /><ul><li>I must always track what I'm eating, (even when I'm breaking the rules of the game - at least THEN I am aware of what I am doing and might stop sooner.)</li><li>This gain took over 2 months. That's 10 pounds a month, about the same rate I am losing weight...that's a HUGE success over prior losses/gains. In the past, gains have been more than double the speed of the losses. So I've made some positive changes here. (Like not wearing any stretchy pants - EVER!)</li><li>I have to, have to, have to stay hydrated to the max. The more water I drink, the less room I have for food. I'm less comfy in my non-stretchy pants and hunger isn't happening. (I have known for quite some time that thirst sometimes masks itself as hunger.)</li><li>I have to exercise. Haven't been on the bike for a while now. Gotta get some warm cozy bike riding gear so there aren't any more excuses.</li></ul>I'm tracking, I'm drinking, I'm making better choices and back on track. It was fun to forget about the plan for a while and the other positive thing that's come of this is that I am finally over thinking I've made it. Let me explain:<br /><br />I have lost so much weight, I see photographs of myself and I think, wow, I look pretty great these days. (Got a little full of myself and my new found Hotness. LOL) And while I KNEW I hadn't yet made my goal, my brain was pretty happy with where I was. Hence, I was STUCK.<br /><br />This gain and has made me aware that I ain't there yet. :) I've got work to do and my brain has adjusted to seeing my body as it IS rather than as it should be...and that's a healthy adjustment.<br /><br />I'm still stuffing myself into the clothes I started wearing back in November when I was at 168, so I'm spilling over and out at times, but I refuse ABSOLUTELY AND COMPLETELY to wear clothing up a size. I put me here, I need constant reminding that I need to head the other way.<br /><br />This is how people at healthy weights do it, they wear their clothes and their clothes tell them when it's time to cut back or increase their intake a bit. I've spent a lifetime ignoring that...no more.<br /><br />Say it with me now... NO STRETCHY PANTS!!!!<br /><br />and Happy New Year everyone!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756303026207829534.post-85033066226277537782008-11-13T11:32:00.000-08:002008-11-13T12:35:36.431-08:00Finally made it to a new Ticker!I thought that last one would NEVER be replaced. It was supposed to be gone before my trip to NYC in June...oh well, I got lazy, distracted, a little bored, and let's just face it, I got LAZY.<br /><br />These last 20 months have been times of HUGE change for me. Life changes, health changes, body image changes. (I'm still trying to figure out what stores I shop at now...my choices are limited only by my wallet...which seems to be pretty limited, but the choices are so much more than they used to be...and I find I want more quality clothing now, as I expect to wear it for a LONG time.<br /><br />Middle of October, Jef and I headed over to a swap meet for surfers because I'd seen an ad on Craigslist that a used bike sale would be there too. We found a couple of nice used bikes for 150.00 for the pair...and off we went.<br /><br />Since then, I've spent probably 4 times the cost of my bike on accessories so that I can ride safely to work and back. Helmet - check. Blinking lights for front (white) and back (red) - check. Rearview mirror to stick on helmet - check. Basket/rack for carrying things to and from work and other places - check. Padded Seat cover for my new boney butt - check. Bike Lock - check. Headlight for seeing where I am going in the dark - check! (replacement rearview mirror for the one I broke first time out - check. :D ) Nab some bungee cords from Jef - check. I'm set!<br /><br />The ride to work can go two ways. Along the busy city street of Hollister and that's a little over 5 miles each way. I don't mind it much, but it's not as pretty as the Coastal Route I can take from my house, through UCSB, along the beach at Goleta Beach, then down the Maria Ygnacio trail to where I work. That ride is a little under 7 miles each way and when I take it in to work, I can't help but smile and be SO grateful to live in this wonderful California Beach town. Especially this morning...November 13, 2008 and the temperature was already in the high 60's allowing me to pedal in without a sweater. Amazing. I had a great big grin on my face the entire way.<br /><br />I just don't understand the serious faces of the people I pass on my way to work. Yeah, I'm going to work, but LOOK how I'm getting there!!! And I get to go home the same way?? AWESOME!!<br /><br />Yeah, I'm enjoying this pedaling thing. I can almost see myself fully decked out in those matching biker shirt and shorts ensembles that match my bike and my helmet all up. Almost. But for that to happen, the colors are going to have to be pretty amazingly vibrant. Haven't seen a set yet that I can't live without. :D<br /><br />I just feel like a kid again when I get on that bicycle. (The basket is just like one I had when I was younger too...so that helps with the nostalgia.) I'm free to pedal pretty much where I like, and this town is set up for bicycles to roam free. How many people can enjoy a bike ride at this time of the year?<br /><br />But here's the key: I finally found exercise I TRULY enjoy. I mean, I LOVE THIS BICYCLING thing. Something about the wind in my hair I guess. :D And since I can't rollerskate anymore, this is the next best thing. So being all geared up with basket and such, I can go where I want, shop if I want, or pick up whatever...within limits, of course...and just enjoy the heck out of my day without dreading getting out and getting some exercise. It's just FUN...and if I'm sweating while I'm having Fun, then YAY for me. :D So, Thank you to my husband for hearing me say, yet again, that I really really really wanted a bike to ride and for going with me to get some nice used bikes and for going riding with me and for helping me get here. I needed this. For me. I'm so happy you're sharing it with me and so glad we did this for ourselves.<br /><br />So I'm blogging again. Two months later than the last post. Because the weight is coming off again. Because I'm exercising. Moving more, imagine that! And the more I pedal, the easier it gets and the faster I go. (Those kids at UCSB that pass me are SO annoying!!! I mean, there I am, pedaling like the dickens, huffing and puffing along...and they just breeze by me...and their bike has only ONE gear!!! I'm here with 21 and using ALL of them baby, so just pass me already...but one day...you won't pass me anymore...so watch out you whipper-snappers! :D )<br /><br />Last nights weigh in showed a loss of 4.2 lbs and FINALLY tipping the scales in the 160's! 168.8 actually, which is exactly on target to finish off that darned Ticker and start a new one. The next, and final, 10% goal is to lose another 16.9 lbs to a final weight of 151.9 lbs. I think that's a healthy weight for my size and shape. It always was in the past...but if I can do better, and be in great shape, then I will.<br /><br />It's important to be realistic and also to avoid selling myself short. So I'll consult with my doctor too and see what he thinks the healthy standard is for me and set that as my goal. So I say that this next ticker is my final, but maybe it isn't. I'll know when I get there if there's more to do, because I live in this body...and I want it to continue to support my brains and my life as long as it possibly can. :D<br /><br />Have a great week! I'll blog again soon.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756303026207829534.post-17623337070953561622008-09-12T14:19:00.000-07:002008-09-12T14:22:17.527-07:00Lose for Good!This Just in from <a href="http://www.hungry-girl.com/news/newsdetails.php?isid=1534">Hungry-Girl.com</a><br /><br />Lose for Good... LITERALLY!<br />Listen up. If you're thinking about joining <a href="http://www.weightwatchers.com/">Weight Watchers </a>this fall, here's a perfect excuse (not that you need an excuse to enroll in the fantabulous WW!). Beginning September 7th (that was yesterday for the calendar-challenged), and continuing all the way until October 18th, the Double W will donate the cost of one pound of food for every pound lost (up to a MILLION DOLLARS) to two fantastic hunger-fighting organizations -- <a href="http://www.strength.org/">Share Our Strength </a>(its goal is to ensure that no child in America grows up hungry) and <a href="http://www.actionagainsthunger.org/">Action Against Hunger </a>(helps hungry people around the world). Check out <a href="http://www.loseforgood.com/">LoseforGood.com </a>NOW to get healthier and help others in need. And go, WW. You guys continue to ROCK!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756303026207829534.post-5916820144132143022008-09-11T09:48:00.000-07:002008-09-11T10:11:46.774-07:002.8 pounds of food donated this week.I am soooo close to breaking into the 160's! Just .5 pounds and I'm there! However, I'd like to be down another couple pounds by next week.<br /><br />Check out that Ticker! I'm so close to making a new one!!! And only 15 pounds away from my goal. It's amazing to be so close and still KNOW I'm going to get there. According to <a href="http://www.weightwatchers.com/">Weight Watchers</a>, I'm only 6.4 lbs away from goal weight...so I figure a couple more months of paying them for meetings and then it's FREE!!! This is - by far - the best investment I've ever made into my health.<br /><br />It's not just the weight loss...it's the <a href="http://www.weightwatchers.com/plan/tfl/index.aspx">tools</a> I've learned to help me get here and then stay here. I use at least one or three of those tools DAILY. :D<br /><br />Wedding plans are going well, we're only 9 days away from the big day...friends and family begin arriving next week on Wednesday and I'm going to enjoy every minute of their company! It's lonely here in Santa Barbara when you're just a "regular Jane" like me. I'm looking forward to seeing the people I love.<br /><br />My friend, Tina, threw a Lingerie Bridal shower for me last Saturday. It was a lovely day, the salad bar style lunch she prepared was FANTASTIC and I was showered with nightgowns and pajamas. There were a few "sexy" things, but nothing to wear outside of the bedroom. I suppose that's what it's all about and I really loved everything I received. It was awkward receiving so many gifts, but as I was putting all the pretty things away that evening, I was pretty stoked to have so many nighties to enjoy wearing. I've even picked the one I'll wear to lounge around in on Wedding night/morning after. I'll share pictures when I get my hands on some. I did look at a few and there is one that I had to stop and stare...I looked so much like my mother. I will miss her terribly on the wedding day...but I know she'll be with me in my heart.<br /><br />This coming week will be pretty easy on me as far as stress eating is concerned...I've got most of my stuff taken care of, now it's just little things here and there, and my girlfriends will help a lot when they get here next week. I've cut out alcohol and chocolate until the day of the wedding. Though I did have to taste the wine we'll be serving...it's drinkable, but not the wine I'd hoped to be serving. After the wedding, I'll reintroduce some wine in the evening, but I really do need to limit myself to one glass. Two is just too much anymore. :D I lose all resolve and then get the nibblies or have a third glass that I really don't need.<br /><br />I do expect the party to begin Thursday, September 18, as my childhood friends will be here and we'll be reminscing and enjoying a little "margarita therapy" together. Just need to keep the drinks to ONE for me. Wedding day, I'll have a glass of wine, then a few glasses of water...repeat. :D<br /><br />Any pointers on really good eye cream to battle under-eye puffiness?<br /><br />Have a great week!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756303026207829534.post-77103779765636532792008-09-04T08:33:00.000-07:002008-09-04T08:53:48.983-07:00Up 1.2 AGAINOk, so the dancing around in the 170's is getting old.<br /><br />I'm doing way too much comfort eating...and I'm not doing much, but enough! I'm drinking too much wine to relax due to all the wedding planning stress...and I'm eating too much chocolate which is breaking out my face and that's just not ok with a wedding only 2 weeks away.<br /><br />GOSH, two weeks! EEEEK! I'm excited, anxious, delighted, and a bit concerned...just that the day will be nice weather, that we'll have a wonderful day and start our MARRIAGE off right and without me behaving like some kind of bride-zilla.<br /><br />I'm hoping to have a nice massage the night before and quite possibly the day of. :D Colette Cooper is a talented Masseuse here in Santa Barbara and I'm hoping to pay her for her services to help me relax and not have any muscle tightness or issues with my back due to stress (and corset lacing) that day. :D<br /><br />So, I finally realized, with the help of one of the ladies who helps weigh us in when we arrive, that I am only 9 lbs away from the top of the goal range for my age/height. However, she had me at 5' 8" and I'm only 5' 7" or a little less...thanks to gravity. So really, my weight range is 128 to 160...so I think my goal of 155 is realistic.<br /><br />I WILL reach my goal of 155 lbs by the beginning of November.<br /><br />By my wedding day...only 2 weeks away...5 lbs is doable. Maybe 6, but that's REALLY pushing it. Though I've been FLOATING here at the low 170's for so long, I might be able to drop a quick 10...<br />I just need to be more strict with myself. I've been really lenient because I've come so far. I look at my pictures in the previous post, before and after, right next to each other...it's FRIGHTENING to see how bad I let myself get AGAIN...and I will NEVER do that to my poor body again. I fear, if I did, I would die. Seriously.<br /><br />But I had a reset in the brain last night...I'm SO CLOSE, but not yet there. Yes I've come far...but I close last time and went back up. THAT ISN'T going to happen this time. NOPE. I'm ON IT!<br /><br />Most of you know which program I'm on, but I'm going to break precedent and let you know which one I'm on because, if I inspire ANYONE, now's the time to join. Weight Watchers is promoting, for the next 6 weeks, "Lose for Good." For every pound of weight lost by Weight Watchers members between 9/7/08 and 10/18/08, they’ll donate the equivalent of a pound of food — up to one million dollars — to people around the world who need it.<br /><br />I WILL lose 12 pounds during this campaign. Join me! Join Weight Watchers and do something good for yourself and for others at the same time.<br /><br />I WILL walk daily. I WILL do 50 sit ups daily. I WILL take EVERY opportunity to MOVE my body and break a sweat. I WILL track everything I eat and I WILL be VIGILANT to the plan and I WILL reach my goal weight.<br /><br />JOIN ME!<br />~LizbethUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756303026207829534.post-35589277181492390602008-08-27T11:14:00.000-07:002008-08-27T20:48:00.753-07:00New Pictures, and old.<div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjF60rhyNQDRKaIOZcwXvmGndNCb8ygcvwgXaK00JWImydr5OVl9ma1NO0TCYMLxnbkuJT0owE09LJGZMJ-cVvjvOlP1m0W8dq5CK0t7IhIILeRIIu40Yw-eJ2yYHC4qez-NgVe2S1i1-kG/s1600-h/Lizbethfront082708.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5239269974308210770" style="" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjF60rhyNQDRKaIOZcwXvmGndNCb8ygcvwgXaK00JWImydr5OVl9ma1NO0TCYMLxnbkuJT0owE09LJGZMJ-cVvjvOlP1m0W8dq5CK0t7IhIILeRIIu40Yw-eJ2yYHC4qez-NgVe2S1i1-kG/s320/Lizbethfront082708.JPG" border="0" /></a> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgL83UOavJghw24hpGUtGv-uNDNfM_jq9TM5j8QCIqwqEFwF35F353YU6KtgBb0txCu4HnzgSjDT1NwktKffxLX35XfiGiVWFBXiHRjdXurkQ5V6L4nRTjipaIBBnn9XbaW6bZbwU1p1Glg/s1600-h/fatlizfrontal022207.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5239271261550955378" style="" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgL83UOavJghw24hpGUtGv-uNDNfM_jq9TM5j8QCIqwqEFwF35F353YU6KtgBb0txCu4HnzgSjDT1NwktKffxLX35XfiGiVWFBXiHRjdXurkQ5V6L4nRTjipaIBBnn9XbaW6bZbwU1p1Glg/s320/fatlizfrontal022207.jpg" border="0" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEie3xguLHMbVyG2lS7d7I42DtlrZxpo1DDvpJIAu4T30IDv57yCwgubV7Z05YH0H2Ke5AEPk1HTq-nCDQqmKHtph9fdY6AuKANJqKxwkTVh9V1ysb1iVmGZ6xCF9_-2ICagZ7OE-FY1hz1q/s1600-h/fatlizfrontal022207.jpg"></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2ItoNpPp9GeBBosd9BMdOMknH87ScpTz7UNqd_LwLx5U21YLwuNhgZJM6bNpztzqhLPpoLT6qz9cJfkv0xnCrmSouYaDpfaxTCBVyXzA_nhtzA3Kff9YbOlf17pQv81MzsrMjg5klDTdv/s1600-h/lizbethside082708.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5239269980913429122" style="" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2ItoNpPp9GeBBosd9BMdOMknH87ScpTz7UNqd_LwLx5U21YLwuNhgZJM6bNpztzqhLPpoLT6qz9cJfkv0xnCrmSouYaDpfaxTCBVyXzA_nhtzA3Kff9YbOlf17pQv81MzsrMjg5klDTdv/s320/lizbethside082708.JPG" border="0" /></a> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXfOC2DekYPF5P-H5rwrFAq-46gR74DkC1WysA8LgbgrCwH8UPAtr9OjSTMa5V42MVtbIP25qUcYa15x7HXp2BVL9CmLfTeysZLRfuQQ-EFukhNMmyeRVchSScbIogKcwj8U6Q4hUGTauj/s1600-h/fatlizsideways022207.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5239271272633438834" style="" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXfOC2DekYPF5P-H5rwrFAq-46gR74DkC1WysA8LgbgrCwH8UPAtr9OjSTMa5V42MVtbIP25qUcYa15x7HXp2BVL9CmLfTeysZLRfuQQ-EFukhNMmyeRVchSScbIogKcwj8U6Q4hUGTauj/s320/fatlizsideways022207.jpg" border="0" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-1t9GE8E7w3raIJvDXSVRKPIU806UdGTACzQzyeHIYOMsw-054TMvzGHUQAvuRYJLIH_7S26XnTZBnTsuNYmbeFkygLEiCe8oAOysWGRWgc-x7o3MWs3XhaM8DWC94J1fZDnlLPGaQxeN/s1600-h/fatlizsideways022207.jpg"></a><br /><div><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgl10uRQEP3LiGPcVBTSuka5O3RMRyY7jlXWjCZZdKqQwQ343FUdZpMEp-1ngQwPGNtWLSIHPOaizPAbUVG40oSiVUNWi3E8XdYUMLTQEXbQtmjYm5l7UsX00IPltpajXe_08yfBRRPczXk/s1600-h/Lizbethfront082708.JPG"></a></div><div></div><div>Today is weigh in day, that's my new weigh in dress. It's pretty lightweight. </div><div></div><br /><div>I still need to lose about 20 lbs to get all the flab off, but I'm doing really well.</div><div></div><br />I am down another 1.6 tonight. yay! I'm moving and grooving again. Date Nights involving exercise are a good thing! We rented bicycles out by the beach, rode around for 1.5 hours (should have been 2 but Jef wanted to make a phone call)...and then enjoyed a wonderful dinner on State Street in Downtown Santa Barbara under the stars. Skipped dessert but enjoyed a lovely dinner.<br /><br />So the scale says 172 lbs now. That's a total loss of 121.2 lbs. Just 22 lbs to go. I could do it in 11 weeks if I got really serious...but I am not sure I will...wedding coming, and the dress fits, so I think I'll just stay on track and take it as it comes.<br /><br /><div>Wedding plans going swimmingly and the exercise is back on track. Though I still get lazy sometimes. All in all, I'm just dealing with the daily struggle of not stagnating HERE at this weight. I want to reach GOAL!!!</div><div></div><br /><div>Have a great week!<br /></div><div></div></div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756303026207829534.post-19826027151566311592008-07-17T09:20:00.000-07:002008-07-17T09:33:37.226-07:00Back on TrackSo it's been a while. Hi there!<br /><br />Vacations, birthday, summer visitors are done and behind me...for now anyway. I'm refocused and back on track. Been struggling with the whole weight loss thing since my laptop died. (No it cannot be fixed afterall.) So tracking wasn't happening for a while and that made a huge difference.<br />In order to lose weight I GOTTA TRACK what I'm eating. <a href="http://www.google.com/search?q=writing+down+what+you+eat+works&rls=com.microsoft:en-us:IE-SearchBox&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&sourceid=ie7&rlz=1I7GZHY">(There's new scientific proof of this as well!)</a><br />I also have to MOVE my butt more.<br />So I'm tracking again and making a POINT to get out and walk at least 4 times a week, more if I can.<br />What can I say...I'm down 7.6 pounds in the last 2 weeks. :D Here's the kicker: This is FAT (Water retention) week and I'm down 4.4! This plan really works when you work it.<br /><br />I realize I let myself slip into the habits that other people on the plan slip into and the complain it doesn't work. Well, it doesn't if you don't USE THE TOOLS. I'm proof of it. Truly.<br /><br />So I'm trekkin on, and I do believe I'll be at my goal weight by my wedding day. Fitting is this Friday, so I'm going to get an undergarment that sucks it ALL in...to see if we can get by without the MAJOR alteration that we have in mind. It will work, but I would really like to keep the dress as it is if I can.<br /><br />Plans are moving right along, we have nailed down our site, my gown, our officiant, our cake baker, our caterer, my shoes, and a few little things. We still have a lot to do, but we've got more appointments this weekend and a fun one on Friday - we meet with a custom jeweler to discuss creation of our wedding set!<br /><br />On a food find note: I am not much of a soda drinker, but Jef and I have found one we like to indulge in from time to time. You gotta try <a href="http://www.cocacolazero.com/home.jsp">Coke ZERO</a>. Today. If you like Coca Cola Classic...but you don't want all that sugar, this comes much closer than Diet Coke ever has. Try it, and let me know what you think!<br /><br />Only 28 more pounds to go to goal. I know I'll get there. WHOO HOO!<br />Have a GREAT week!<br />~LizbethUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756303026207829534.post-19510019382589310232008-06-27T11:40:00.000-07:002008-06-27T11:52:50.303-07:00Up .2, but so what? I'm floating on a cloud.So I am up .2 pounds, but that's ok...we had a lovely dinner out on Saturday and I had the left overs on Sunday for lunch...or was it breakfast?<br />Anyway, Sunday dinner came with a proposal! Yes, THAT kind of proposal. :D And I said YES!<br />So Jef and I will be married soon, we've not picked the day but will probably have that solidified this weekend after we look around at possible sites in Santa Barbara to have the ceremony/reception.<br />It's really easy planning a wedding with someone you really share values and deep love with. I'm enjoying the process.<br /><br />However, I am feeling a little down...I would like to share this event with my family and special friends, but they are all so scattered...not only geographically...so I am concerned that some of the people who are important to me won't be there. The day really is about SHARING this wonderful love and the joining of our lives together with others that we feel love for...it's this whole LOVE fest and I worry that it will be lacking in some way for me. *sigh* Am I just being silly?<br />I'll just come out and say it: It would complete the day for me if my family were present. All of them, the good, the bad, the ugly, the survivors that we are in our own ways. We're a goofy bunch but there is love between us that I hope hasn't been lost over the years. I hope there is a glimmer and that when they receive my invitations, they will come to Santa Barbara for a fun weekend and share this very special day with me and see me join my life to this very special man who loves me so unconditionally. I cannot have my mother and father there in body, but they will be on my mind and so there in spirit...so I would like to have my siblings and their partners there too.<br />The Moore-Allbright wedding would be VERY special if they can all be there, but I'll take what I can get. If only my sister's come, I'll be content with that. I just had to express that I want them all to be there...<br /><br />Hustle and bustle ahead, and still about 30 lbs to lose...I'd love to have it all off by the wedding day...but that may be just a tad unrealistic...however, 20lbs is doable and I'm shooting for that.<br /><br />I'll be running around a lot but still need to focus on getting EXERCISE... :)<br /><br />Root me on?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5756303026207829534.post-18988221993378610482008-06-19T13:34:00.000-07:002008-06-27T11:37:48.255-07:00Down again: 7.4 pounds and back on trackWhat a GREAT week. Not the weight loss...although that's not too shabby, but the WEEK was so nice.<br /><br />We spent the weekend in Lake Tahoe with a bunch of REALLY SMART people and did some hiking up in Heavenly Valley.<br /><br />I let this post sit in my drafts too long and I'm lost about what to say cuz I have more to say about the current week.<br /><br />This having no laptop stuff is for the birds...I'm calling the fixers NOW!!!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0