Monday, March 28, 2011

New day, new plan (Day 3)

A few weeks ago, while flipping channels for some background noise while I polished my fingernails, I came across Dr. Phil talking to some ladies in his audience about an eating plan that he and the show "The Doctors" are hyping. The audience members had lost quite a bit of weight and were singing the praises of the plan so I did some research.

I found it is a modified Atkins-type plan that changes a few things up every 17 days. "This could be the plan I can get my hubby on board with!" I thought. So I bought the book on Amazon for less than $13 and it arrived a couple days later. I skimmed it for the basics, made a shopping list and this past Saturday, we began this new way of eating.

Day three, and though I find my car wants to turn into the old haunts, my body steers me down the same bad aisles of the grocery store, I am not hungry or feeling deprived or anything. Of course, that may have a lot to do with my mindset. I'm back on the determination wagon. I feel pretty good, though a little tired today, mostly from lack of enough sleep last night, but generally good! Hydration is such a good thing. I forget that sometimes.

I'm hoping to be at least 20 lbs lighter by the time I go to Washington State to visit family and friends.
I don't have a working scale at the moment, (we need a battery for it) but I'm guessing I tilt the handle at a whopping 268 or so... 100lbs up from almost reaching my WW goal. I let a little shame get in my way...and could not get over it and get back to the meetings. My issue, I'll wear it and work on it.

Wish me and hubby luck as we travel this road together for a change. :)

Friday, March 4, 2011

I've recently come to the very strong conclusion that I have become 'closed off' from life. Shut down from the bad stuff and therefore unable to enjoy the good stuff...with so much pent up frustration and emotion that the tears are always threatening to break through in a deluge of salt water to shame the Red Sea.

Life coaching is helping though I keep losing focus and going down paths that won't really help me reach my goal...no fault of my coach, he keeps asking me what I want to work on...but somehow we've been ending up discussing my job and how I can make that better...unfortunately, his perspective is from the outside looking in and without the information I have from working there these past 6 years. It's not a bad place to work, but changes are happening that are completely outside of my control and so I do my best and ride the wave of change. 

However, since the life coaching thing is only focusing on one viewpoint of my life, and since I've recently enjoyed a talk over at one of our local Buddhist Temples in town, I've decided to take an 8 week course there called "Everyday Happiness, Happiness Everyday" and I think the timing is perfect.

Today, while surfing their site: http://meditationinsantabarbara.org/  I came across these videos.  The one on Stress spoke to me so I watched it and remembered how I used to be. So much awareness has escaped me in these last two years. I am sooooo stuck in anger and suffering. I am looking forward to remembering who I am in the weeks ahead.  Then maybe I will be fully ready to re-engage in this other Journey...but the Journey to the INNER me is taking precedence because the INNER me is in such turmoil that the Thinner me is just about unreachable.

For the next few weeks, I will share what I've gleaned from the classes ahead and hopefully find my way back to the path of the thinner, healthier me during this exploration. 

Introductory Videos

Some brief teachings given by Kadampa Teachers from across the United States on various topics:

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