Monday, August 13, 2007

1.6 this week.

New loss total is 55.4 lbs and I'm tipping the scale at 237.8

This past week was about OBSESSION. I just can't seem to stop obsessing about beating the system somehow. I starved myself after over eating on Wednesday night after weigh in. STOOPID. This system works, I don't need to game it, but here I go doing the psychotic mind game that is weight loss and I want it NOW.
So I'm stopping. Taking a break. Not going off the program, nope, I don't quit that easily.

I'm stopping the obsession. The week ahead will be about eating. Enjoying life and just NOT OBSESSING!!!!

Smoke is getting better, though the fire still rages. Makes exercising easier and breathing much better. I'm not being as active as I should. I think the heat makes me lazy. I thought they were kidding when they said activity goes down in the summer, cuz for me, it's always increased...but I'm being lazy this summer and feeling a bit demotivated. And that is ALL MY FAULT. I'm obsessing, and starving and doing so many things wrong. 3 things you gotta do to lose weight: You gotta eat, you gotta breathe and you gotta move. (Thank you Susan Powter.)
I'm not eating, I'm not breathing so well and I am not moving much. This MUST CHANGE.

I post this Monday night, just two days before my next weigh-in so I'll give you a preview of my week so far. I've been EATING. I've even used some of my weekly extra calories that I get. I've had an Aunt Annie's almond pretzel with butter and caramel sauce for dipping! (I tossed about 1/3 of it tho and at least half of the caramel sauce). It was delicious. I had a snickers bar!!! It was green to promote the new Shrek movie, which was kinda gross, but it tasted the same. I got a sugar buzz after the first 4 small bites (about 1/5 of the candy bar, no it wasn't king sized). It took me all afternoon to finish it. But finish it I did.
I moved a little, went for a walk with friends on Friday night, climbed a big hill. Walked to a date destination and back, not far, but a walk. Also spent 5 hours walking and shopping on Sunday- (I caught up on some rewards I'd been putting off for my successes. I got new dresses, one a birthday gift from my boyfriend's mom, thanks Mom! and I got a purse and a wallet. I also picked up a few things for the man.)- That's it. Thought I'd go for a swim tonight, but alas, after making dinner, the sun was below the horizon of the trailer in front of the pool so I didn't. :-/
I have tomorrow night and I will move this body. But I am done obsessing. I've broken the pattern and I expect to see a bit of a weight gain this week as I am sure I have shocked my system completely. I'm ok with that. I just wanted to get off the unhealthy path I found myself on.
So, Wednesday I shall only post my lost/gain and nothing else. I've already told you all there is for this week. :D


Anonymous said...

Just saying hello... Just keep doing what you are doing. You know you can, even when it gets slow... Big hugs, R