And I'm not doing what I need to be doing. :( And if I don't get on the wagon NOW, I won't make it to my birthday deadline yet AGAIN.
I can't believe I'm letting this happen. I am not powerless, I'm just being lazy and stupid...and passive-aggressive. And yet another thing learnt about ME, and shared with my wonderful Hubby. I realized I am worried that if I get to my goal weight while he's still a big man, I will find myself getting resentful and angry with him...kind of like the wait for our marriage. :/ I got a lil cranky after a while. :/
So, while I realize this is my demon to deal with, it's still something to talk with him about and share thoughts on and hopefully inspire him to do what he needs to do to get healthy too, and I'm NOT just talking about weight here...do internal work and fix the reasons you DON'T do what you need to do to take care of yourself...we're not spring chickens anymore, my Love. (He reads my posts by RSS feed so that's directly to him. *smooch*)
Now that this little demon is in my awareness, I've been able to really be back on track. Afterall, who was losing with that silly behavior? I've been doing a lot of research on passive-aggression and how to stop behaving that way...did you know that there isn't a whole lot of material on that subject? But there sure is a ton of it available for all you poor souls out there that have to deal with us. (sorry!) I have found a few good websites with some little blurbs on how to begin...maybe that will be my next blog...or something this one will morph into. Afterall, it's still part of my journey. :D
I weighed in last night (March 18, 2009) at 195.4 which is a 2.6 pound loss for the week. I didn't do much and really wasn't ON program until yesterday, but I've been 'getting there' so-to-speak. As of yesterday, I am there. I rode my bike to work and to the weigh-in...I didn't stay for the meeting though, it was a BEAUTIFUL evening and so I took the long ride home. (7 miles) and enjoyed moving rather than sitting more. :D I rode my bike in to work again today and will take the long way home tonight again. And I'll do that all over again tomorrow, but I am hoping to get an earlier start so that I can ride in to work and enjoy that view of the beach.
Thank you to my anonymous posters, one being my sister, for reminding me to be kind to myself as I trek along. Setbacks are a part of everything in life and so being reminded to be kind to self is always a good thing. Remember to be kind to YOURSELF today. Smile, think of things for which you are grateful.
I'm grateful that I've paid attention to my clothes this time. I will not shop for clothes again until the ones I have are fitting comfortably or hanging off my body. :D
Have a great week!